Adrian Murphy

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When I am dreaming, I dream of sunsets spent with you
The day's warm caress slipping through the air
An opal sun dripping from the sky
Hands clasped together as one
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There are words I need to bury
Written on a fading purple note
Those words that scar – I love you, I miss you
X’s and O’s that oh so innocently wound my heart
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Only yesterday you were a child
I held your tiny hand full of a father’s joy,
Those twinkly blues eyes and winning smile
Stealing hearts at every turn
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Why stop the clock, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone?
Turn up the music and let the speakers hum,
Bring on the evening, let the revelers come.
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Hours and minutes have ponderously run their course.
My teenage excitement is barely contained,
Like an anxious father patiently waiting outside the maternity ward, I pace
Pace to exhaust those last few minutes
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Dark suits and solemn faces abound
Formal heels tap tapping on the marble as
Legal eagles pace to their clients
Here in the Great Hall the real deal is done.
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Days blend gloriously as one.
Like love struck teens, we sit hand in hand
Soaking up the splendour of the dying sun,
Proclaiming our love with letters in the sand.
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Like a giddy child counting the sleeps to Santa, I wait
No reindeer bells for me, I listen longingly for the ding ding of a text.
Tonight I'll lie awake as did so often
Waiting to unwrap my best ever Christmas present.
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An autumn dew lay heavy on the grass that somber morning
The commotion of the night before burned into our history
Angry voices lost in emotion, frustration exploding into destruction
Sirens steaming through the New Hampshire night
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Two dull grey pebbles carelessly bathing in the afternoon sun
A silent token of a new life, a secret memory, a racing heart?
Butterflies in a tummy, confidences shared, that first kiss?
Fickle hearts will shape their destiny:
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We are comrades in the strugle you and I
Trapped dangling helplessly in the air
Twisting protectively in the evening breeze
Destined to live life in a captive fear
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Breathe deeply – pause – breathe again
The cool night air fills my lungs
My heart pounding out the panic in my head
Focus on the here and now
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15, no longer a boy, not quite a man.
Your life is becoming your own to run,
Your hopes, your dreams, not mine.
You face such a different world,
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My eyes catch the sea’s silken shimmer as it gently laps the harbour wall.
Fishermen effortlessly casting their rod in search of a catch, as sailboats silently slip into harbour, today’s adventure ended.
Playful voices of children echoing all around, grabbing the last few moments of sunshine and stretching the patience of tiring parents.
Air infused with the tang of salt and vinegar steaming off countless helpings of fish and chips and the unmistakable smell of the sea.
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In silence the old church watches
Old friends gathering on the steps
Lives so busy they seldom meet.
A long forgotten face sighted in the crowd
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I have broken free from the shadows and
Shaken off the icy coldness of a vixen’s spell.
I dream no more of treasured moments from long ago,
Bloodied they lie, obliterated in the carnage of parting.
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A heavy sadness grips me, coffee and strangers my only refuge.
In-laws chitter and fresh faced children gaily play,
As around me these families make merry,
I flounder in a sea of September days.
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Summer has run its last and autumn has gleefully seized the baton.
Winter paces impatiently, with an icy hand outstretched,
And yet, nothing can steal my happiness
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Do you think of me?

Do you think of me
When you dress each morning for school?
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