Alan Ingranazzio [Al] (3 May 1966 / Russia, Siberia)
Biography of Alan Ingranazzio
After my university grade I began to look for job, that answered my vocation, considering
myself most suitable to be computer programming designer. I appealed to the place, that I liked most and already knew, when I was making my thesis.
- Currently we have no positions, and we don't know, when they will be. You may do tests now, and before we shall appoint we contact you.
Easily I passed all the tests and stayed await for appointments. Then I had a contract, and my boss was very kind to me.
- Here you are. You have to study the subject properly.
He let me use his library. To my surprise I comprehended it too quickly and returned to him joyous.
- What have I to do now?
- You have to study.
- I already grasped it all.
- Excellent, but you are new here. Just experienced researches have here their own research, beginners duty is to be their assistants. You have to associate with other colleagues, to study their needs and to find your own duties.
I began to associate with colleagues of my department, doing research in their areas and suggesting my proposals. They all were intelligent people and looked at me sympathetically.
- What is the matter with you, fellow? - asked the most pleasant of them. - Are you overtired?
I did my best to find my duties, and my boss organized workshop of all research institute's areas especially for me. I sat at the table near my boss, and all institute's colleagues, talking one by one, represented their results. Knowing almost all this, I listened with satisfaction though. After each talk a talker was sitting down in armchair, and after all talks were finished, all talkers turned their faces to me and began to watch me, like consultative group of doctors watches the most hopeless patient. My boss raised.
- I suggest to praise this rather outstanding young fellow and to advance him. Objections? None.
All my colleagues congratulated me heartily, I was really moved, not understanding though, how I deserved it.
- Here this is, - said me boss, when we stayed alone, - You worked hard and may be pleased now. You have position and good salary. Be happy.
I went out the building for a breath of fresh air.
- How awful it is! - thought I, - What is it going with me? !
At work I associated with nobody any more, sitting in library all the time. Sometimes I preferred to read classic literature, that I brought from home, rather than scientific paper. Reading Shakespeare I considered, that, if Romeo lived in our city, he may be advanced also for his inability to love Juliet. It was not funny at all.
Two years later I was appointed to position at that place, where I earlier passed the tests, and there was no end of my satisfaction. I was introduced to my new boss.
- This is not scientific institute here. You need to work, - he said, - Everything we produce, we sell. When we'll sell your product, you will get salary. For the present get what you get.
Next day I got my table and my computer. On my table were aids to few programming languages and pile of almost thousand printed pages.
- Here it is, - said my boss, - my new program. I wrote it in three months, but it doesn't work yet. Our company needs to sell it, and this is your duty to make it work. Do you know any programming languages?
- I guessed it, - said he seriously, - and this means, that you must have it all worked out. I am busy by dealings of our company. I have no time to help you.
I worked with real delight. Having no comprehension of any programming language, I studied them all simultaneously, deliberately choosing syntax, that suits my purpose. I dug enormous program, creating my own syntax style. I didn't notice, how weeks, months and seasons fled. It seemed to me, that just yesterday I was frozen in my office, when spring passed and summer came. My colleagues began to take vacations, and my office emptied. Weather and my ecstasy became hotter, and I felt this, working in my suit. When I finished, I took off my jacket, left it in my office and went to cinema to cool myself. Next day I called my boss.
- I finished, - said I.
- You made it just in time. Let me come and take a look.
Watching screen he said:
- Your program works very well, and we shall sell it.
He opened small safe and laid out on the table my salary for the whole year.
- Take, - he said, - It is your month's salary now.
I was horrified. I have never seen such money.
- Why does he give it to me? For what? Who can believe, that it is my salary, if I don't believe it myself? What have I to do now? What will be with me?
I remembered myself reading classic literature in library of my scientific institute and realized, what an idiot I was!
- And now, - said my boss, - give me the text.
I handed him my program's printing on approximately one hundred pages. His face went red from anger, and he muttered:
- I gave you one thousand pages and get it back on just one hundred pages. You mean, that most of my programming is nonsense. Something new on earth!
He raised and put all the money back into safe.
- Consider today as your last workday here, - concluded he and went out.
I was so grateful to him for taking away the money, that I was completely indifferent to my being thrown out. I waited for my dismissal document, when Head Manager came.
- You complied all contract conditions, - said he sympathetically, - but we are not able to do the same, because your boss openly contradicts that. Vainly we tried to convince him. He is one of our paymasters. Your salary will not grow significantly, because we have to demote you.
My computer was loaded by programs, and I had to write user's guide to them. Considering, that users without any computer experience will see it most plainly, I put inside as many screens as it was possible. My boss avoided me all the time. One evening he came to my office being in most bad temper, that I had ever seen him. I approached him and said:
- I am terribly sorry, if I have done something wrong. I really like to work here and I like you more, than all my previous bosses. Tell me, please, what I must do to reconcile us.
- Dear me! - exclaimed he, - It would be better for me to sell cars all my life, than to hear it!
Then he continued more calmly:
- There is just one thing in our relations, that I realized. To succeed, that our projects, that we have worked out, be sold, we need to be crank like you. You are unable to see, that you don't belong here. We are businessmen, and you are not a man, that is possible to have business with. You may stay here as long as you like, but we have no interest in you any more.
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