Alice Silvers

I am dying
I wonder why this happened to me
I hear him coming back to finish me off
I see nothing, my vision blurred with blood
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There`s a boy in the attic
Pulling the wings off angels
His brain filled with static
Hiding in the dark
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I am presumed psychotic and in denial
I wonder if I will ever leave this place
I hear people screaming down the halls
I see nurses rush to quiet them
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As you stare up at me with
Your cold, dead eyes I try to
Remember what you were like,
Full of life.
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I am hurt
I wonder how you could leave me on this earth alone <
I hear the words I never wanted to hear
I see my world spinning out of control
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I am a photograph
I wonder why we can`t stay this way
I hear everything
I see everyone and everything
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The longer I have to go through this pain, this torture, the more
I start to break down, I start to lose the fight.
If I lose this fight, there will never be anything to fight again,
there will just be nothing. Nothing at all.
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This war with myself never ends. It just gets worse. There is always pain. Always suffering. It doesn`t get better. The pain never ends, never fades, just drifts into the background. To imagine a time where I won`t feel this pain is impossible.
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I am cut
I wonder how I let it get this bad
I hear footsteps
I see my blood drip
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I am alone
I wonder how this got so out of control
I hear everyone whisper
I see them point
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I am drowning
I wonder when it will end
I hear silence
I see black
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I am dissapearing
I wonder how this came to be
I hear their voices, begging me to come back
I see blurred facesof people I once knew
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You were my soldier, standing tall and proud. Always ready to do anything. You would march ahead of me. Protecting me from any harm. People would gawk in awe at you, you were so gorgeous. I was so proud to claim you as my own, my one and only.
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Sometimes when I think of you all I want to do is let go, let my emotions flow. But then I think of what has been engraved in my mind, you can't cry, no matter what your reason. So, I take a deep breath, wipe my eyes and move on. Because, you're not allowed to cry.
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Locked in a cell
With my imaginary friends
In a dungeon
Where the night never ends
...