Treasure Island

Amit Ray

(United Kingdom)

Comments about Amit Ray

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  • Allemagne Roßmann (7/8/2009 1:39:00 PM)

    This is Professor Indira Babbellapati's discretion
    From: Indira Babbellapati (India ;)
    To: Amit Ray
    Date Time: 7/8/2009 9: 43: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: In moments-Amit Ray's new poem


    dear dr.amit
    hey, that's cool...i see a discernible change in amit's verse this evening. it's very relaxing to read this level-headed love poem of yours which indeed took me to far away realms gently rocking on a boat...keep it up, young man...happiness is intensely personal and none has any role to make it or mar except you! hope u won't mind my speaking out my mind...
    cheer
    indira

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  • Allemagne Roßmann (7/8/2009 9:29:00 AM)

    This is Sir Paul Hansford's discretion.

    From: Paul Hansford (Stroud United Kingdom; Male; 70)
    To: Amit Ray
    Date Time: 7/7/2009 3: 01: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: Flowers of love-Amit Ray's new poem


    Dear Amit,

    I don't much like being asked to vote on poems, as I never do anyway. Most people don't vote unless they give 10 (or else 1 or 2, to be unpleasant to someone) , so it seems a pointless thing to do. But having been invited to comment, I can only express my opinion.
    On the good side, it is clear that you enjoy language, and the sound of English words. Having said that, though, while the words(*) and most of the syntax(**) are recognisably English, I can't make any sense of lines like -
    'lynching the stigma of passion,
    synching the woes in her paradigms of eternity'
    How do you lynch a stigma? If you synch (synchronise) woes, you have to relate this to something. Was this meant to be a front-rhyme (lynching/synching) ? If so, it doesn't work, as the words are pronounced differently (LINCH/SINK) .
    The section that Lee picks out ('submissive so silly yet lethal the lilly that lolls / in her locks') is impressively alliterated and internally rhymed, but what does it mean?
    'silently round the sirocco of / soirees' is perhaps a little overdone, and what have soirées to do with a wind?
    (BUT 'her tread on my red carpet' is good internal rhyme, and at least this makes sense.)
    'flowing like hyacinths' - do hyacinths flow? and if so, how?

    (*) helexine sems to be a creeping plant (though I had never heard of it under that name, and I would guarantee that no other PH members had either) and doesn't fit the sense.
    'lippy' is either a slang word for lipstick, or it is an adjective meaning 'rude' or 'cheeky'.

    (**) 'ocean which in am a sailor' - do you mean 'ocean in which I am a sailor'?
    'transpire a punishment' - 'transpire' is a verb that does not take a direct object.
    'to catch unaware the lotus be her coup de foudre' - what function does the word BE have here?

    Spelling is less important, but it does matter a bit. CHOSES should be CHOOSES, FRESSIA is FREESIA

    I hate to be negative, and I have been called 'a bit racist' before for criticising the language of Indian sub-continent writers, though that is far from being my opinion. I am merely trying to help, and my comment to summarise all this would be that you have tried nobly, but over-reached yourself. It would perhaps be better if you wrote shorter pieces, using the linguistic tricks if you like, but being certain of what the words actually mean.

    With all good wishes.

    Paul

  • Allemagne Roßmann (7/3/2009 1:32:00 PM)

    From: Daniel Takel (Ebbw Vale United Kingdom; Male; 14)
    To: Amit Ray
    Date Time: 7/2/2009 9: 20: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: Flowers of love-Amit Ray's new poem


    I love how you don't just use basic words, but a wider vocabulary to emphasise thoughts and feelings in detail. Great writer... keep on going.

  • Allemagne Roßmann (7/1/2009 9:40:00 AM)

    From: Mubeen Sadhika (India ;)
    To: Amit Ray
    Date Time: 7/1/2009 9: 38: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: Flowers of love-Amit Ray's new poem


    Your poem is very nice.

    Regards
    Mubeen Sadhika

  • Allemagne Roßmann (6/26/2009 9:31:00 AM)

    From: Jasbir Chatterjee (delhi India; Female; 43)
    To: Amit Ray
    Date Time: 6/25/2009 10: 56: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: your poems


    Hi Amit! I read your poems. You seem to have written them with a lot of feeling. Please keep it up, but try to use as few words as possible.

  • Allemagne Roßmann (6/25/2009 7:29:00 AM)

    From: Daniel Takel (Ebbw Vale United Kingdom; Male; 14)
    To: Amit Ray
    Date Time: 6/24/2009 1: 19: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: One Cup of Coffee


    I thought it was great and you chose the words to suit the situations you described.Well done.

  • Allemagne Roßmann (6/24/2009 8:32:00 AM)

    From: Ion Untaru (Finta, Dambovitza Romania; Male; 70)
    To: Amit Ray
    Date Time: 6/22/2009 7: 26: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: One cup of coffee-Amit Ray's new poem page-2 number 21


    I read your poem, i like it, congratulations. You have a rich fantaisie, immagination.

  • Allemagne Roßmann (6/16/2009 9:56:00 PM)

    From: Francis Duggan (Australia ;)
    To: Amit Ray
    Date Time: 6/16/2009 8: 06: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: One cup of coffee-Amit Ray's new poem page-2 number 21


    Hello Ray

    This is an excellent poem up to your usual high standard, your passion and originality shines through here and it is up to your usual high standard, surely a another 10 poem to add to your many great poems, good on you Ray.

    F Duggan

  • anurag duggal (5/27/2009 1:38:00 AM)

    you are nearing your end
    create a million new names
    a million new ids
    but the killer blow
    is about to hit you
    thy vicious cycle
    u started
    will gulp you in
    you oversmart bufoon
    thy days are counted........

  • Arie Mack (4/29/2009 3:59:00 PM)

    dat is a great poems..
    keep it up.. let me know wen u add some more poems on here so i can check it out.. also check my poems out wen u get chance.. thanks

****~IN SUNDERBANS~****

Your Name: Amit Ray

Title of Poem: In Sunderbans

The Body of the Poem:

In Sunderbans where tigers roar
Mangroves dense vast surroundings explore
Black stripes sniffed on orange flesh

[Hata Bildir]