Amit Ray

Rookie - 133 Points (United Kingdom)

Comments about Amit Ray

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (8/2/2011 10:24:00 PM)

    From: Isobel Byrd Billingsley (Fustérouau France; Female; 69)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 8/2/2011 10: 04: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Your request for a comment/criticism of the poem 'a german racist washerwoman'


    Hello there, Although I appreciate your strong feelings and the emotions expressed I feel your choice of format unfortunate.Its length and density, its uncertain rythms, changing line lengths, the copious detail of the character and the situation make the poem inaccessible for the reader. In my opinion your subject would make a very telling and accessible short story but written as you have done it is offputting, by being too long and verbose, to the reader.The bitterness could be expressed much more simply and in a shorter poetic format, the repetition of the line 'a german racist washerwoman ', which is good, would be more impressive coming after shorter less dense stanzas.Economy of vocabulary often has a much more telling effect on the reader than too much detailed explanation.Also readers do not like to be hectored...leading them or suggesting to them your feelings is always the better appreciated.Hope this is of interest, remember it is only my opinion.

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  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (7/28/2011 2:00:00 PM)

    From: Leslie Alexis (Heaven Is My Home) (New york United States; Male; 25)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 7/28/2011 1: 11: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: lipstick


    I enjoyed your poem also. I thought it had great flow and was a good poem! !

    Leslie

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (7/12/2011 6:19:00 AM)

    From: Pranab k Chakraborty (Nabadwip India; Male; 54)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 7/11/2011 9: 37: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: Re: Re: a german racist washwoman


    Thank you poet, thanks for your sensitive analysis regarding dominational problem. Feeling very comfort to think that thinkers are always very desperate to transmit their own wave lengths indifferent in cast, creed, colour and of other variants. Fire is the same everywhere to burn or to be burnt.

    Thank you again.
    Regards,
    pranab

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (6/9/2010 1:38:00 AM)

    From: Ivor Hogg (Dipton United Kingdom; Male; 76)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 6/5/2010 7: 21: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Hi new friend


    I have read some of your writing with interest. You have a long winded stylewhich though beuatifully worded distracts from your message. May I suggest you try a sharper more simple style

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (6/2/2010 3:49:00 AM)

    From: Sarwar Chowdhury (sylhet Bangladesh; Male; 44)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 6/2/2010 3: 36: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: O Listen my Tsarina

    ....nice to meet with you
    Keep penning beautiful verses

    bye

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (3/22/2010 9:05:00 AM)

    From: Monoi Mencita Angel Morhardt Carmen (Manila City of Birth - Geneva City of living Switzerland; Female; 50)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 3/20/2010 11: 00: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Scarf


    I can feel the pain and loss and the scarf strangling my heart....
    thanks for the sunbeams....I love the sea the sun and the heat cold and snow except summer when we have nice and warm weather!
    Your name sound european! do you speak French?
    read my shivering with passion.... nice to hear from you Carmen

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (3/20/2010 9:53:00 AM)

    ========================================
    ** ORIGINAL MESSAGE ********************
    ========================================
    From: Bhanu Gupta
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date-Time: 3/19/2010 6: 10: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)
    Subject: hi
    ---
    loved your poem. wonderfully chosen words cleverly entwined to produce such a piece.
    keep it up.
    keep writing
    take care.
    Bhanu

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (3/19/2010 4:54:00 AM)

    From: ****TaMaRa HaNaRinG.****** Stay tonight, inspire the lonely mind (PaLeStiNe- JeRuSaLeM United Arab Emirates; Female; 41)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 3/19/2010 4: 43: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: Re: ~KITES~


    i read it my friend but it is so complicated..i need dictionary..cheers

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (2/27/2010 7:47:00 PM)

    From: Obed Dela Cruz (Marikina Philippines; Male; 15)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 2/26/2010 6: 57: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: SCARF

    God bless you because you are a blessing! I wish you a happy life of abundance and prosperity!

    A friend,
    Obed Dela Cruz

  • Rookie - 133 Points Allemagne Roßmann (2/25/2010 4:22:00 AM)

    From: Nazma Lucky (Bangladesh ;)
    To: Aamit Rothschild
    Date Time: 2/23/2010 11: 53: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00)


    Subject: POEM SCARF


    Hi Amit,
    Sorry for late reply.Finally I hv found your poem & readAt first I searched for Aamit Rothschild i/o Ray.You hv expressed different types of sounds in your poem, in Bengali it can be described as 'Shabdamoy'.I hv not liked 'in pearls of my tears' so many used in poem, hv liked 'Ocean of sadness' due to rhythm of word sadness. Why hv you used 'her blasphemy'? I couldn't realise that.Below lines are so cute.
    So that I hv only one answer
    in front of God's judgement
    To be hers evers.How romantic! ! ! ! !
    'I want to see how many pieces it make when a heart breaks'
    But, Alas! You hv mourned for western beauty, not.....very sad. Ha.....Ha.....

Best Poem of Amit Ray

****~in Sunderbans~****

Your Name: Amit Ray

Title of Poem: In Sunderbans

The Body of the Poem:

In Sunderbans where tigers roar
Mangroves dense vast surroundings explore
Black stripes sniffed on orange flesh
for succour where to- ever his grouses justified refesh
Danger lurks cautiously guarding his lair, mother Nature in furore!

A timid deer`s gossamer dreams in his patient mouth
That`s how the law defined-somebody`s sunrise and somebody else`s sunset so couth
A second day fuel with a succulent buffalo, a third day duel with a crocodile in nesh
In ...

Read the full of ****~in Sunderbans~****

****~in Sunderbans~****

Your Name: Amit Ray

Title of Poem: In Sunderbans

The Body of the Poem:

In Sunderbans where tigers roar
Mangroves dense vast surroundings explore
Black stripes sniffed on orange flesh

[Hata Bildir]