I hadn't been exposed to drugs, didn't have a clue what being high was and little did I know shortly after I would fall madly in love.
I remember like it was yesterday, the day I met my supplier. Made it seem like we were friends, but he was just a really good liar.
My first year in college I heard about a really big shindig. I didn't have many friends, so I attended.
Everyone there seemed to be having a blast. I tried to talk to some people but they would just walk off and laugh. Trying so hard to fit in but no one paid me attention. I just sat by myself depressed and full of tension.
Then this dude came over and asked: What up son? Rule number one at any party is that you gotta have fun. I got the right thing for ya. Its a definite creeper. It goes by the name of marijuana but many call it reefer.
Oh yeah? I think I like the sound of that.
That's right, I know what attracts. I'll get you started with a dime bag,1/8th sack or q pack. And just so you feel secure, I got another one you can pour. Courage in a bottle, that'll have you goin' full throttle. This one will hit you quicker and it goes by the name liquor.
I woke up the next day smiling about the previous night. There was a fine girl in my bed and don't remember getting into any sort of fights. Must have been the alcohol, cuz I know I had a ball. Taught me to be sociable and how to stand tall. And best believe the weed had my body sedated, mind stimulated and left me completely elated.
I built a rapport with my supplier over the next few weeks. I was smoking and drinking a lot so they started to become weak. One day I asked him if he had something new this time. He offered a white powder that he fashioned into a set of lines.
On your mark, get set, go. Let me introduce you to blow. One sniff of this and you'll feel like you're ruler of the globe.
Boy was he right, I felt fantastic. As soon as it hit me, my brain was doing gymnastics.
I cared less about studies letting them fall by the wayside. Instead my dealer became my professor, something more like a life guide.
It seemed like from that point on I was off to the races. Couldn't recall the names of the people I did drugs with and barely remembered their faces. We dropped acid, popped pills, and snorted so much coke. Then one day my dealer came by and showed me how to smoke crack and shoot dope.
These little rocks are like a high price whore. She'll do you so good, you'll be begging for more. Smoke them the same way you might toke on some grass. Spark them up with fire in a piece made of glass. And the heroin can be used just like the cocaine; through the nasal membranes. Or as most people prefer, injected directly into their veins.
From that point on, my mind was gone. I looked a wreck and couldn't keep my life in check. The only thing for which I gave a shit, was finding where I planned to get the next hit. There was no way I'd end the habit, even though I wanted so badly to quit.
I had dropped out of school and started acting a fool. Pawned everything I possessed in order to score and in the process ended up homeless and poor. I was too blind to see that so many people cared for me. Damn, I must've drove my family and friends crazy not knowing what I was doing or where I might be.
Finding myself in an abandoned building, I wondered why life was worth living. Searching the floor for more like it was a chore, I came across the body of another soulless nobody. Next to her sat a bag, some syringes and dirty needles. At this point I don't think I have to tell you what that mixture equals. I quickly found a usable spot to stick amongst a thousand track marks. Once the substance hit my bloodstream, my vision started to get dark.
Now came the time for me to die and make my way to the other side. Getting wise in my very last moments alive, I realized: What a low life I had become and all the damage that was done. Knowing I did it all to fit in and have fun.
With that last gasp of breath, I closed my eyes and welcomed death. When I opened them I found that I was back at the party sitting by myself. I was oblivious to what had occurred and what I had endured. So when the same guy came over to offer me smoke and drink, I didn't really know what to think.
So, knowing with this decision you had everything to lose, which one would you propose I choose? Would you feel behooved to use like you had something to prove? Or elect to reject what others expect?
The prison cell
In your mind you sit
Your mind consumed by the darkness that creeps at the bottom.
You want the normal things
In life love,sex,overall blinding happiness.
Put you can only see it through the bars rusty cold grimy steel bars..
I sit in my prison cell tears in hands
Hands on eyes cowarding in the corner wishing i could be on the other side join society blindly prancing about. Instead im stuck in a hell
a prison cell that i caused out of my own bad habbits as a child still a child..sensitive but strong
Now in my cell i see the cloud of darkness is stretched around my cell an those of my common felons
Who lead an everyday life who have depleted an turned into monsters.
For some reason i feel an bearing to serve them justice to atone for my own sins or sins i want to commit.
But i am not worthy enough for that honor.because that would make me a hypocrite.a felon of my own sins yes but a hypocrite no.honor as a felon is all i have goin for me but it also destroys me if i lose my honor i might as well be shived
In my prison cell...
You don't love me over here anymore
because city lights don't glimmer on my marble floor.
And every kiss that i gave you, you never went searching for.
Waiting gently for you to tell me that you want more.
Your soul still lies empty
as you think about the past.
And wishing you had the things,
you know would never last.
Why can't you move on and focus on what's ahead,
you'd rather dread misery, dispair and loss of love instead.
But i see on you a light,
shining a ray of hope,
right now its not much,
but the tip of a saving rope.
Soon you'll be pulled near and forget all of your fear,
as the dawn breaks in you, the Spirit will soon draw near.
And love will be your new home,
where your heart can rest and sleep.
you can bask in the light shown,
where the living water runs deep.
I want to go home, I want to go home, I don't want to go in the trenches no more, Where whizz-bangs and shrapnel they whistle and roar. Take me over the sea Where the Alleyman can't get at me. Oh my, I don't want to die, I want to go home.