Ben Carnahan

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I Am Me

I am Parameswari.
I rage, yell, snap,
Because I can.
I grumble, snarl, vex,
At a word, a whiff, a breeze.
Anger, fury, temper,
Are my demons.

I am Mammon.
I work, toil, sweat,
But only for my own.
I steal, grasp, seize,
Neglecting true treasures.
Selfishness, greed, avarice,
Are my demons.

I am Mars.
I hate, kill, fight,
With everyone, with anyone.
I quarrel, argue, debate,
Because I am strong and always right.
War, conflict, hostility,
Are my demons.

I am Thanatos.
I break, sunder, tear,
Soul from flesh.
I dig, stab, hurt,
For Parameswari’s pleasure.
Death, pain, silence,
Are my demons.

I am Judas.
I abandon, sell, cross,
The one who saved me.
I change, forsake, turn,
On the one closest to me.
Betrayal, treason, treachery,
Are my demons.

I am me.
I am bitter, mean, contentious,
Towards patience, charity, peace.
I am malicious, mutinous, deficient,
Towards benevolence, loyalty, perfection.
Failure, anger, selfishness,
War, death, betrayal,
All are my demons.

I am His.
I sin, err, transgress,
He forgives and forgets.
I fall, hurt, cry,
He heals and renews.
Father, Son, Holy Spirit,
Is my God.

April 6th,2009 - Irvine, California, United States of America

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