While sautéing shallots in your omelet pan,
Sprayed first with canola Pam,
I learned that you had a one-night stand,
Did you use a condom made of lamb?
In the same report I sadly learned,
As I added quail eggs and salted ham,
That you admitted to having sex texted,
What were the rituals you requested?
At a ménage a trios you demurred
It was an error you inferred
Did K-Mart’s Queen of haute cuisine
Baste with butter Paula Deen?