You are the love of my life, my secret, my obsession. Without you in my life, I have nothing. What is there to life without you?
This letter is awfully bold I know, but I have felt this way for so long. Had to live with the pain of not having you- for too long. I feel.. I know I must make my affections known.
Twenty years since the day I met you I’ve dreamed of you. Held your perfect image in my mind- a still portrait. I close my eyes and you’re there, in plain view- as perfect as the day I first saw you. The fair skin that adorns your petite body and your perfect green eyes, that sit above your perfect nose. I can picture you now. I wish I could just reach out and touch you, trace the contours of your body- head to toe.
Once upon a time I dreamed a fairy tale- a happy ending. It was me and you, together forever. But I wake up to a nightmare. Forever? Forever alone.
I have to live each day alone, without you- my special girl, my one and only love. This darkness that surrounds me… haunts me. It’s my shadow stalking every step I take, the clouds overcasting the sun, the storm that rages on all around me and it’s what surrounds me when I turn out the light.
Oh how I love you my darling. All these words I have written- composed by the ink of my raw emotion, the ink of my dreams. I hope as you read this you don’t just discard it. Even if you can’t feel the same, I hope that you just think about what’s written, even for a second; and maybe one day I will hear from you and read the words I have imagined every passing second of these twenty years that have passed.
Matthew English x
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