Many many times i raise my hands in prayer
prostate my body on the floor, and close my eyes in deep meditation
i bite my lips. I hide my tongue in shame.
Many, many times i make promises to change myself, to redeem an old
dirty self and wash it, and cleanse it with all remorse
Many many times the pain comes back and lashes me with its whip.
i enter my room. I lock the door. I keep myself inside myself.
Many many doors become many many doors.
This house, this temple, This self
Always loved, always forgiven.
Many, many times, so many many times.
It is endless. I cannot just stop it.
It is not mine anymore.