Claudia Krizay

Fear, anger, mistrust and nearly
Half a century of
Living in a world unfamiliar
To all but myself-
...

From childhood memories of band aids and skinned knees,
To those of losing myself to another world,
You were always there for me.
You were the mother in my heart,
...

Alone in this world,
Not meant for me to live in, I never knew
Why the sun rose and set, why it rained so hard-
My tears, my tears-That fell upon the edge of time-
...

Falling:
Imprisoned, while
Hiding-
Eyes, fixed upon
...

Upon every pathway I walk, I see your shadow, and
In every pond and creek, I see your reflection-
Upon these pathways I find the trace of your footsteps.
In every thought I have, your memory is still alive.
...

Hanging by a thread, I had been, with no relief from fear-
I was drifting in a rowboat lost in the midst of an unfamiliar ocean,
In a state of mind going no place-
Searching for direction through a tunnel of madness,
...

This is the time of year being that everything is awakening – once again-
Flowers are blooming everywhere-
Crocuses, daffodils and Cherry blossoms- and
Dogwood, both white and pink
...

There are those who are forever searching and
After many decades have passed lose themselves to another world-
Although with much certainty and disillusionment
I can hardly remember living much of a life in
...

The sun sets as the moon rises above the mountaintops –
Rhythmic music rings in the air as
Tambourines play within a band of angels in the sky-
Within a moment’s notice I would board a ship and
...

I have let go of time,
I have let days disappear and
As I walk down this pathway of life
For a brief moment
...

In this moment I feel as if I am falling,
Into a prison from nowhere,
I see my shadow arabesque as
I watch my reflection appear
...

Run, walk Do not hide-
Last night and late morning- Shades of oblivion-
Trees bow in rhythm with the wind outside
Before and after this world was born-
...

I hate schizophrenia-
Spending months in a locked ward,
Pacing up and down low piled carpeted halls
Between therapy groups, and those nothing to do weekends.
...

Tears had once fallen from inside
Every part of me-
A breeze rustles the barren branches on the trees
In the midwinter, here where
...

My plight isn’t what you think or
What you care to believe-
Just as cherry trees do not blossom in
The month of January or
...

I am lost inside
A world of my own,
A world that I painted inside of my thoughts
Within a figment of my imagination-
...

As I lose myself inside of a world of my own-
Perhaps a shadow would pass me by,
Or maybe a fawn would wade in the creek
Along side of the path I walk-
...

Faces of terror, and
Mountains of madness,
Climbing upward towards oblivion,
I could envision
...

Being the only flower bearing yellow petals
Growing tall in the center of nature’s garden
Reflecting the sunlight and dancing in
The gentle early springtime breeze-
...

Early this morning I am outside walking along the trail-
The wind blows my hair about-
Covering THE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD-
I cannot see for the moment but I can feel-
...