Emily Straka

You are my inspiration.
You are my shining star.
My best friend through it all,
the one I'll remember forever.
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A choice to make,
a heart to break.
A lie to tell.
A dream that fell
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Snobs and backstabbers, that's what we are.
One day we're your best friend,
the next we can't stand you.
We think we have to be ditzy and mean,
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I have a secret desire of which no one needs to know.
This unmentionable want that has me aching so.
An unfathomable need for silence,
no matter how deffening.
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A little girl once told me,
Cute as can be, this girl,
I know how to see the future.
'Cause seeing is believing and
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Examining the world around me,
Making it through the day how I want.
In the eyes of others I may be a mistake,
Like I really care.
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Laughter rises like bile.
It's consuming, like fire,
tortouring and unforgiving.
It's unloving and untrustworthy.
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A passing glance is all people ever see.
We don't look deep enough,
dig far enough,
reach out enough,
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I wish you could know what I can't bear to tell you,
I wish you could understand the truth of my side.
I wish you could know all my nightmares, so frightening,
I wish you could see the sin that I caused.
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It was a terrible dream,
No part of the bigger scheme.
When you woke up you were weeping.
You didn’t realize that you were sleeping.
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Cool breeze blowing through your hair,
Winged voices whispering while you fall.
Laughing manically, watching you dropp through the air.
They don’t care you’re fixing to hit a wall.
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Cut a little deeper
And see the blood run down.

Put the trigger in the right spot;
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The questions,
They become longer.
The answers,
They become shorter.
...

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Of all the words I could've used
I had to use the one of your distaste.
Show you that you can't control me,
show you I'm not something to waste.
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Beautiful streams of light,
falling from the sky.
Waves rippling in the distance.
Looking out over the town,
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Dream of the day when everything will change,
nothing will ever truly be the same.
In this life there is heartbreak and tears.
What about the day when you have no more fears.
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I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.
I'm sorry I couldn't make you care.
I'm sorry I didn't no what else to do.
I'm sorry I am no longer there.
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I need forgivenss.
I want serenity, trust, hope.
I want love and acceptence,
for I can't change who I am.
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I thought I knew who I was,
until I looked in a mirror.
I saw pain in my eyes,
the trembling of my hands.
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