Felix Lugo Poems

I want to be your ex-man because he had an opportunity to be with you.
To spend time with you.
To kiss you.
To hug you.
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All this time I've been the fool. Thinking someone like you would ever be interested in me.
Somewhere and somehow I thought there was a chance.
I believed. I had faith.
I thought anything was possible.
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There I was in Colorado filled up with emotions after a bottle of Moscato. Sometimes looking back it feels like I hit the Lotto. Here’s my story its for more than ordinary. But if it weren’t for her I probably would have been already buried.

I pulled the triggered from my friend’s 9mm. It was blank. Found it in the bedroom. Before I’m judge and asked the questions how I came to this conclusion. You have to listen to my story.
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I got rejected because the flowers i bought was not good enough.
The time I spent writing those letters was written with the wrong ink color.
The clothes I bought had stripes instead of patterns.
The place was clean yet the food was cold.
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DEDICATED TO ALL THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WHO DEALT/DEALING WITH THESE 'SO CALL MEN'
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Maybe it was Hope I once Lived.
The thought of you that made my World real.
Maybe it was past Life experiences that I could Not deal.
Your smile brought Joy to my Heart.
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As some might know when I love I love profoundly. Growing up I didn't always receive the love one should receive. Somehow along the way I learned that there is a difference between right and wrong and that life is about making choices. That's all we have to control is the choices we make in life. I always struggled with love. Sometimes I love those who don't love me back. Often I give so much of myself that in return I hurt my emotions. I can't control who I fall in love with but I can control how I move on by making choices. In the process of understanding love I pushed many people away when in return all they wanted to do was love me. It was too late when I finally realized what love is and how it's kept alive. They already moved on. I'm sorry for all those who I hurt because during that time I didn't know how to receive it. Thank you for loving me when I didn't always reciprocate that affection. I think I still struggle with how to give my love that it scares people away. I love too much if there's such a thing. All I know is that I am a giving person who believes that everyone is unique, beautiful and deserves happiness. For quite some time I laughed and deep inside I cried. I cried for people who chose to take my kindness as a weakness. I've been used and left for ruins, many, many times. I forgive them. You can't blame anyone who does not know better. Everyone has a reason for their actions but not everyone knows why they react in such a way. I'm hurt. It's no secret. I hope in this life I would be able to give all this love I carry to the person who needs it the most. Sometimes I look at my mirror and see that person. Someone once told me "the right one will come" Maybe their right. Maybe the best things come to those who wait. Patience is everything and timing is priceless. I don't always have the best timing in the world but I learned to have patience.

Thank you for taking the time to read this note. Know that if I ever told you that I love you, I truly meant it. If we were together know that I still love you and think of you often.
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You hated me yesterday but you love me today.
You said you needed me, and I thought you meant it.
I found out you just needed someone to give pleasure
and make you feel better.
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