(3/16/2007 10:11:00 AM)
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I really need constructive critisim on my poems so,
tell me which needs improving or changes.
I would greatly appreciate the favor
(3/8/2007 2:17:00 PM)
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hi there everyone i wrote this last week - all feedback welcome
S quirming and squealing from deep down within
E ntwining my mind, spittle-hissing all of my sin
L ocking me in icy-grip till the tears burn my eyes
F ire-ridden despair blocking out all the blue skies
L icking and sordid masochistic-pig disgruntled
O pen-heart wounded bleeding, branded and humbled
A ll of their names black-scorched into torn flesh
T he ones that hurt twisting knives whisper in the cloud
H ell-bound chanting their blame and their shame
I nsomnia breeds trying to breathe through the pain
N ight-time sweats pale panic beating my chest
G ot to keep riding these waves, eventually they rest.
Petra Creffield February 2007
more on my profile page...thx for reading
(3/1/2007 3:13:00 AM)
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I have currently run out of inspiration to produce new poetry. I have not had a great deal of feedback on my exisiting 37 pieces on this site. I would greatly appreciate some feedback left in order for me to get back on track.
May I please recommend starting with the poem - 'When All Other Lights Go Out'
(2/28/2007 3:37:00 PM)
When ending a stanza or verse; do not write the first silliest rhyme that comes into your head, try to be original, it may take longer, but it will improve the poem threefold, and make more sense. Put it away in a drawer rest it, bring it out and new inspiration will help you find the right finish for for poem. Don't be trite.
(2/27/2007 7:33:00 PM)
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I write poetry when I need to work through a situation, a crisis, an event, a person. If my desk is messy and I can't wash the dishes and my underwear has been on for three days or more then it is a good indication that I am in the chaos of creativity.
Think of something that moves you then write.
(2/27/2007 6:48:00 PM)
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I forgot to mention. If you do bring your poems around with you i suggest making copies in case you lose the poem book. I learned this the hard way. Last year i lost my poem book for a week and it ended up being in my french class. ANd again this year i lost the same book, and it ended up in the football teams hands. THe were reading my poems everyday i heard, and i had random football players tell me i had good poems and others say i was a loser. However, i managed to save a few of my poems on my cell phone, thankfully. They threw away my book in the end, destryoing more than half of my poems. However, every down goes up and i have just started where i left off, with better poems. Sorry for the double post! ! ! !
(2/27/2007 6:43:00 PM)
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Well im not sure how much this may help all of you, but i find these place to be the best time to wrte my poem.
1. In the shower (I constantly find myself thinking of lines in the shower, memerizing the lines, then running to my room to write the lines down)
2. Math Class (I am really bad at math so i find myself writing poems, in the margins of my math notes)
3. When im lying in my bed at night (Its during these times of silence when our thoughts become more loud and clear, or atleast for myself)
Also, i have been told by many other poets that always try and carry around a little note book to write anything that might be inspriational leter on. Write down funny or serious things you see during the day and maybe something will come to you. Also save everything you write ina organized place cause there is nothing like finding old poems you thought you lost, and reading them like its the first time.
(2/26/2007 1:01:00 AM)
A few things I remind myself to practice:
1) Read, read, read. Read a variety of literature and poet's work. Find a poet you really like and read that person's work daily. Study what makes that poet's words resonant and connect with you. Pay attention to the tone of words used in the context of the whole poem. Even try emulating a poet's style for practice.
2) Write, write, write. Write every day, even when you don't feel like you have anything to say-try writing a poem a day for a month. Don't worry if its any good-to paraphrase William Stafford, just lower your standards and do it!
3) Find other poets around to connect with. Adopt a mentor, living or dead. And read what that person had to say about the art. Me, I chose William Stafford, because he unravels a whole, profound world in even the most ordinary things or circumstances, he writes succinctly, and uses verbs in ways that are unexpected, and keep a charge going, he is at home in nature and in the human element, and is always aware of the intertwining relationships of place and time, of earth, sky, animal, human-because he has a confidence of character that comes from living a good life, good in the sense of upholding his values of working for the highest good. Those and more. An excellent book he wrote on writing is, Writing the Australian Crawl-one of the very best. Poemhunter has a few of his poems on site-I'd recommend, The Darkness Around Us Is Deep, as a collection and starting off point.
4) Be mindful of what's going on in the moment, around you as well as inside you-there you will find the threads to follow in writing. Listen more than speak.
5) As you write a poem, say the words out loud and listen how they sound and feel as you hear them-listen for the flow, the rhythm and tone of the words.
Play with sentence length, line breaks, structure.
6) Try writing in different forms-try a sonnet on for size, haikus, couplets, sestina-if you don't know what a sestina is, find out and write one. Its a good way of opening up possibilities and breaking out of ruts. Try writing from a different perspective than first person.
7) Details, details, details. make a list if that helps.
8) Frustrated? Just leave that damned poem alone for a while, then come back to it. Eventually, you'll get a new take on it, a new angle-I've had to totally dump a poem because I was forcing it to be something it wasn't, then go back and write what it really was/is. That's where keeping a journal helps me, having that reservoir of thoughts, stories, observations, emotional outbursts, etc..
9) Don't worry about finding your voice. You have your voice. Just use it and exercise it.
10) Try writing automatically without censuring yourself, now and again-I set the timer for 4-5 minutes, do a little meditation to clear my mind, and go!
The main thing is, dont stop to think or ponder more than a second-if you get stuck, have a specific letter, let's say, 'T', and when you're stuck write the first word beginning with 'T' that comes to mind and keep writing. Do it a few times, and you'll likely be amazed at what comes out of you.
11) When you complete a poem, and it seems to stand on its own feet pretty well, read it outloud, and give yourself a pat on the back.
12) If you compose on computer, always make a copy on paper-helps to space-and -half or double-space the lines-and use pencil or pen to edit and re-write.
That's all for now. Best wishes in your writing. Phillip
(2/24/2007 6:09:00 PM)
some new poems on my profile if you have the time / inclination to have a browse :)
Jan Oskar Hansen
(2/13/2007 3:41:00 PM)
In the queue buying lottery tickets, last day, last chance
to win a fortune, I turned and there behind me she was
the Chinese lady, our eyes met, I had known her all my
life. Instantly every detail of her face was engraved on
my mind, if I met her later dressed as peasant woman,
in Shanghai I would still recognized her
At the local café I ate fresh Danish pastry, drank newly
brewed coffee when she came in and sat behind me,
tremor in hands couldn’t read was acutely aware of her
presence, too self conscious to get up without breaking
a cup or turn to speak to her, but we’re meant for each
other, something has to give.
Pondering my own feelings I got a little distracted, so
when I finally turned to look behind me, she was gone;
had another pastry, remembered she was the Mandarin
lady that decorated every mess hall on every ship I have
sailed on; at meal time she looked straight at me and no
one else in the room.