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  • Frank Ovid (5/16/2014 5:10:00 PM) Post reply | Read 6 replies Stage

    Hi Guys. I just finished my 2nd quarter " Top 5 Poets On the PoemHunter Discussion Forum" A little different this time. I've had a chance to read a more wide variety of your poems. The last month or so I've started to delve into different forms and my poetry world has been reawakened. You may not be here, DON'T worry! I have not read ALL of everyone yet. Be patient.

    5) Peter S. (Sneaky good. My wife loves him too. Comes at you from the heart. Why not?)
    4) Jeff C. (Fell a spot, but that's okay. Great visuals, but needs to work more musicality into the old rhythms and rhymes. Still very good.)
    3) Lamont/Jim Hogg (Tie for 3rd. I didn't know Hogg was so good! And, Lamont is, well, Mr. Reliable. Super.)
    2) Delilah (Fell a spot, but she's still great. Love her " playful" use of the language)
    1) Dog God 8hate (Yes, moved up to # 1 with his latest efforts. Closest thing to Jimmy Joyce we have on here. Congrats Dog!)

    Honorable Mention: Danny (fell out for just a month, he'll come back strong) , Sherrie (Have been reading more and becoming very impressed!) Bull Hawking (Love his name and his poems are super.

    Stay tuned next month. You may be here!

    Replies for this message:
    • Lamont Palmer (5/18/2014 7:25:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

      I returned to this because I was curious why you criticized JC on his need for more 'musicality' when that never seemed to bother you before?-LP

    • Frank Ovid (5/16/2014 8:48:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      I try to be objective Lamont.

    • Lamont Palmer (5/16/2014 6:31:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Ovid, you'e the fairest guy in this forum, without question. You like to have fun, but your criticisms always have an accuracy about them. -LP


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  • Adam M. Snow (5/16/2014 4:25:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies Stage

    Come again, You little Nature's Kin
    Written by Adam M. Snow

    Sinful and violet beneath the trees,
    roses blooming upon the Spring.
    They know the truth that lies the bees,
    oh little ones who buzz and sing.
    Why are you gone?Why are you gone?
    Your buzzing decrease upon my lawn.

    Are you fleeing, leaving my garden?
    Upon my roses still sweet nectar,
    for you to take if I must pardon
    the intrusion little collector.
    Come again, come again
    - you little Nature's kin

    Take upon you my sweet nectar,
    there are many and there are many.
    Take all you want, little collector,
    there are many beyond plenty.
    Take all you want little bee, little bee
    - to your hive upon my tree.

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  • Jefferson Carter (5/16/2014 3:01:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    Lamont,
    Lowell's " Life Studies" is a great book, a real revolutionary shift in emphasis and style. " Lord Weary" is well-written but reactionary and " The Dolphin" is wildly uneven. " Studies" will stand as Lowell's great work despite your penchant for museum-like odors. Dense?That's something like the word I wanted when describing your poems' diction, well, not dense so much as clotted and ungainly.

  • Bull Hawking (5/16/2014 12:00:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    Posted as a reply:

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    • Bull Hawking (5/16/2014 12:56:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

      For a Lamb I saw on the slant hill a putrid lamb, Propped with daisies. The sleep looked deep, The face nudged in the green pillow But the guts were out for crows to eat. Where's the lamb?w ... more

  • Jefferson Carter (5/15/2014 11:30:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    Lamont, did you check out my interview on youtube? You might find it intriguing and, perhaps, informative. At least, you'll have a better sense of the person you've been arguing with for 10 years! Google youtube, then search Jefferson Carter poet.

    Replies for this message:
    • Lamont Palmer (5/16/2014 8:10:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Enjoyed it JC. While your poems sound just as prosey when you 'recite' them, I think liked them more, hearing them outloud. That clip sort of reminds me of C-Span's 'BookTV' when author's read snippet ... more

  • ... Dog God 8hate (5/15/2014 8:44:00 PM) Post reply | Read 6 replies Stage

    ....
    .
    .

    FIVE STAR DINER

    New York's finest:
    this constitutional down
    Broadway ...
    principal road
    in standard, but ...
    in my time (quick-time)
    SO slow! It's FAST! ! !

    It's something:
    clever
    HIDDEN!
    Forbidden -
    pigeons gulping
    mainstream " disgorge?"

    Hidden from coolies
    that feed
    with fingers -
    bowls of soup
    without the scoop:
    the die-it of
    baneful assumption

    SPECIAL LOCATION:
    to clean cuisine, culinary
    criterion for they
    scrupulous ...

    the restaurant's
    outside to inside,
    wallet n' keys relinquished,
    leaving unwieldy house (for good!)
    purge at/out the door,
    merge with the meal ...

    EAT

    .Y.

    Replies for this message:
    • Alexander Rizzo (5/16/2014 1:20:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      never thought i'd agree with the mischief makers here, but they're right. much of the poem is nonsense. nothing personal of course

    • Frank Ovid (5/15/2014 9:07:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Friggin' genius. You're pretty brave putting this out there with D*ckhead hanging around, but I can see why. Ya got confidence in your stuff, and it shows. The poem is kind of angry, which is unusual ... more


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  • Dan Reynolds (5/15/2014 3:36:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    I think the continuance of ignoring may be preferential to the continuance of foremic flatulence...?
    However...
    Please refrain from posting poems for supposed-derision, without the author's consent.
    You have my consent to post any of mine.
    Feel free to promote my massive ego and/or rip me a new arsehole for being shyte.

  • Jefferson Carter (5/15/2014 12:33:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    Lamont, I too like Lowell's poetry. yes, he and Creeley are very different, one going for plain diction and expressive line breaks to create his effects, the other employing " fancy" diction, bold figures of speech, and deliberate form (couplets, at least in his poem you posted) :


    " ...swan-white
    power launches keep breasting the sulphurous wave"

    AND

    " The elect...come here bright as dimes..."

    AND

    " ..some range of delectable mountains,
    distant hills powdered blue as a girl’s eyelid."

    The more I think about our preferences, the more I'm convinced we differ only in our appreciation for florid diction; we both value form that enhances expressiveness and
    figures of speech that really do kick poetic ass. When I criticize your poems, it's usually what I see as clotted, graceless diction and malformed figures of speech. BUT I
    do understand what you're aiming for.

    Replies for this message:
    • Lamont Palmer (5/15/2014 8:04:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Aiming for, and achieving in most cases, I might add. At least in the eyes of some. And thats all we can ask for as poets. Yes, that is the foundation of our stylistic disagreements; no different ... more

  • Dan Reynolds (5/14/2014 5:50:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    To be honest, now, I'm almost past caring
    but I won't give up.....

  • James Timothy Jarrett (5/14/2014 7:49:00 AM) Post reply | Read 2 replies Stage

    This dying

    I saw her again, there at the hospital
    Her hair had begun to silver in early autumn
    She was no longer the child
    That I had tried to protect, but a grown woman
    She was now a matriarch
    And she had developed steel in her soul
    The years of neglect had been a fire
    That forged her an inner strength
    Burned the Iron until it became hardened
    Even better than it would have been
    We talked in the hushed waiting room
    All echoes of happiness muffled by the sadness
    That clung to the walls like padding
    We walked the sterile halls
    Scrubbed clean of tears and smiled sad smiles at each other
    It was her first death as the matriarch
    And she was in charge of this thing, this dying
    She was the one who had the strength
    To keep everyone else together
    Keep them functioning, even if robotic
    They did whatever task she gave them
    Feeling as if they had accomplished something
    And forgetting for a moment
    I was proud when I saw her, even through the sadness
    Although it was no work of mine
    I felt that I had let her down
    As I couldn't protect her from the unspeakable things
    That visited her daily and worse, nightly
    She had been so young and vulnerable, but no more
    She was strong and stable,
    The rock that the rest of the family could anchor to
    As they were buffeted in a hopeless ocean
    Yes, she was now the matriarch and she was in charge of this thing,
    This dying

    Replies for this message:
    • Jefferson Carter (5/15/2014 6:31:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Jamesbo, there are some nice lines here and some interesting " feelings, " but a lot of dead wood, words that simply explain without generating music or interest: " Even better than it ... more

    • Peter Stavropoulos (5/14/2014 5:58:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Powerful poem, James. The line " I felt I had let her down" particularly resonated with me. Peter.

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