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Mike D United States (3/2/2005 7:41:00 PM)

Well let me introduce myself. Im a 15 year old male, recently got bored and thought 'Hey lets write a poem! ' So I did and was wondering how it could be improved. First Poem I have ever written, any adivce... rip her to shreads

“I’d share with you…”
Mike DeFelice

I’d share with you how much this hurts
And how much it troubles me
Even worse then the pain
Is how I doubt you even care
Why should I even take another breath of air?

I’d share with you the thoughts I’m feeling
And maybe you can help me with my heeling?
I’m driving myself crazy
Thinking about you
How ever do you leave my emotions so blue?

I’d share with you the love I still have for you
If you just gave me a sign
Perhaps a simple rhyme
I’m going insane
Oh how I wish you would just explain

I’d share with you all our memories
How I bet they disappeared from your mind
Now you look at me with eyes of the blind
I try and seek the courage to talk to you
But for now this cheesy poem will have to do

I’d share with you how I hear your kind voice in my mind
How I wish it weren’t a dream
How I just want to get up and scream
I wish the times could rewind
But that is one of the impossibilities of life

I’d share with you how I wish I didn’t let it slip away
How I wish I could bring you back my way
How I wish you were back in my arms
So I can keep you safe from all of life’s bitter harms
How I wish you could remain my lucky charm

I’d share with you my poem
How I bet you would just laugh
This would cut my heart in half
I wish you were still next to me
But I realize it will never be

I’d share with you anything you pleased
How I wish you would stop the tease
My heart is racing
Pacing
Embracing and facing reality

I’d share with you how much I don’t even really care
It would make true your prayer
But then again
I’d
Simply be lying

I’d share with you
My laugh
My hug
How I wish it hooked you like a drug
I wonder why you don’t feel the same
How I feel so lame

I’d share with you my meaningless words
I’d share with you my thoughts
I’d share with you how much I hate this
But worst of all
I’d share how much I really loved you.

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  • Warren Chan (3/3/2005 1:10:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    I think thats very sweet ^^ brings back my memories of past girlfriends and how It felt when we broke up...
    do not take any of my comments seriously because i'm just a year older than u, but i kinda feel that there's an anticlimax in the middle of the poem. but i LOVE, i repeat, LOVE how u ended the poem...like i said brings back memories, and even reminds me of the first poem i wrote (man's curse)

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