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Adam M. Snow Adam M. Snow Male, 26, United States (7/18/2013 1:46:00 AM)

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I have seen Maelstroms Eternal
By: Adam M. Snow

I write with flowers of ink,
thou love poured out on page,
in a slumbering alder away in endless flight;
swaying with the stars, so white 'gainst the black night sky.
Facing the horizons, on the calm black waters called -ink.
-I write for thee that thou heart be free.
I have seen maelstroms eternal,
mount in my soul but endless;
-An abyss without thee, I dare thee not.
By starlight the rushes lean over thee wide:
-The ink on the page is erased,
-The text is long forgotten.

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  • Gulsher John Rookie - 1st Stage (7/19/2013 4:32:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Nice work buddy, ....." poetry " is self expression
    ignore negative views and focus on your heart's feelings

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    • Jefferson Carter Rookie - 1st Stage (7/19/2013 9:56:00 AM) Post reply

      John, poetry is NOT self-expression. If it does include self-expression, it's self-expression transmuted through craft and knowledge into art. There is little art in Snow's clumsy poem.

  • Peter Stavropoulos Rookie - 1st Stage (7/18/2013 5:42:00 PM) Post reply

    Thou and thee transported me to another time and place, and gave the poem a mythical or dreamlike quality. I liked the rawness of the poem and the sensitivity. As an expression of your feelings, I think it worked very well. The " ink erased and the text forgotten" is deep - a negativity but with hope. The poem is the hope, that's not erased or the text forgotten. Anyway, I hope you find my comments useful. Best wishes, Peter.

  • Jefferson Carter Rookie - 1st Stage (7/18/2013 10:45:00 AM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

    A, thou? Thee?'gainst?Thee wide? what is this, the 19th-century? Jezus, please stop writing and immerse yourself in some good contemporary poetry. Reviving bad 19th-century amateur verse is no favor to anyone! Good poetry should be your goal, not ego-stroking.

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    • Lamont Palmer Rookie - 1st Stage (7/18/2013 3:26:00 PM) Post reply

      It is puzzling why someone would want to use such old English terms in their work. There are plenty of contemporary formalists (or near formalists) to look to, if one likes a little meter. -LP

    • S. A. S. Rookie - 1st Stage (7/18/2013 12:30:00 PM) Post reply

      I think the thee and thou was a snow job.

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