Poetics and Poetry Discussion


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Kristina Dee Female, 30, Philippines (9/26/2013 1:57:00 AM)

Thick sheets of kindness
protection from the ice
of soft shadows lingering
below the flawless horizon

Once all is at a pause
feel the roughness of the ground
tickle sleep to come

Then translucent light enthralls
chance of sweet escapade had come
be free in childish laughter
once shaded by a womb firm and tender
now joining the chorus
in timing for the sun.

In Hibernation

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  • Rookie - 587 Points Jefferson Carter (9/26/2013 2:00:00 PM) Post reply

    Kristina, a couple of nice lines here (4,7) but mostly too abstract (5,9) and predictable (10) and awkward (11) . Maybe start reading some good contemporary poets (Mary Oliver, Sharon Olds?)

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