Poetics and Poetry Discussion

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  • Rookie - 329 Points Alice Vedral Rivera (9/30/2013 11:48:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply
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    Admirable sentiments. I have taken the liberty to give you an example of tightening up your poem to give it more of a 'punch'.

    Fighting with injustice,
    Suffering a lot for this,
    But still I’m fighting…..
    Yes, I’m like that

    This is a male world,
    Being born a girl is a crime
    But still I’m fighting…..
    Yes, I’m like that

    Lonely with my choices,
    I’m vulnerable
    I’m honest
    Yes, I’m like that

    Listening to my intuition
    Fighting with inequality
    With sincerity, frankness
    Yes, I’m like that

    I’ll never give up the fight
    I’ll always be like that

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  • Veteran Poet - 1,083 Points Xelam Kan (9/30/2013 7:25:00 AM) Post reply

    tragic but true...
    being antagonist of the nature`s play i admit what our gender did to you...
    a pure dilemma, an unsolved mystery, but but but....

    good penning

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