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Kathleen Neff Kathleen Neff Female, 15, United States (10/15/2013 10:10:00 AM)

Hey everyone it's me again. I made another poem and I hope you guys don't mind reading it.

Title: Why not me?

Author: Kathleen Neff.

Oh some may call it a curse
A life like mine
But others
A blessing
It certainly a lonely life
But a fulfilling one at best
It's my cross to bare
And I bare it gladly
Someone has to take a stand against evil
Why should it not be me?
Why should I stand by while
others ignore it?
Ignoring the killing
evil leaves behind in it's path
while they walk the streets.
Someone must stop it
Why should it not be me?
Me who lives alone,
me who fights back.
Me who will stand against evil.
Why should it not be me?

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  • Rookie - 324 Points Alice Vedral Rivera (10/17/2013 8:26:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply
    0 person liked.
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    I do not think it is grandiose. I think it is a a poem about the realization and then affirmation of the fact that 1 person (in this case, a woman who previously believed she was powerless) has the power to make a change. There are some grammatical errors (like 'me who' when it should be 'I who' and missing the verb 'is' in the 5th line) and the poem could be tighter, but I like the concept.

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    • Rookie - 324 Points Jefferson Carter (10/17/2013 11:33:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      Alice, a concept a good poem does not make. AND this concept is grandiose: I'm alone in my fight against evil? C'mon, drop the superheroine pose and get real. This is just another version of teen-ag ... more

  • Freshman - 2,117 Points Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr (10/16/2013 2:21:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    K, I have to concur with Jefferaon, ...While i'm reading your poem i'm getting the time-tunnel express back to the intros of some of my favorite saturday morning super hero shows...A bit ornate and sermonesque(imo) ...and its " bear" , not " bare" that you want, (I hope) ...Don'rt be stubborn...Put down your pen, go to a library or bookstore and spend some quality time ensconced in the works of your contemporary poets. Trust me...noone that is considered well written and established became so by not reading, learning and experimenting first, in that order...Good Luck, young lady ~FjR~

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    • Freshman - 2,117 Points Jefferson Carter (10/16/2013 11:25:00 AM) Post reply

      Nice advice, Frank. Much nicer than mine, but I'm frustrated by the insistently uneducated voices on this site, as if ignorance is a poetic virtue.

  • Rookie - 592 Points Jefferson Carter (10/15/2013 4:29:00 PM) Post reply

    K, a little grandiose, error-riddled, and cliched. if you're not going to start reading those poets I suggested, why post your efforts here? You're not going to improve on your own. Nothing coming in, nothing going out is an apt motto for what you're doing.

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