Gareth Glyn Roberts Poems

BONG! At midnight tonight there'll be cheering
BONG! And singing of Auld Land Syne,
BONG! Text messages sent in their millions
BONG! And hands raising whisky and wine,
...

Why shed those Christmas calories?
Who says I should?
Give me another helping please
of clotted cream, of full fat cheese,
...

Can I freeze cheese, can I freeze cheese,
can I freeze cheese, my man?
Yes you may, yes you may,
yes you most certainly can.
...

Breathing is the answer to your problems,
the answer to your problems is the breath.
Breathe, and you are in the flow of life:
don't, and you are in the throe of death.
...

I do
twenty
press-ups
daily
...

Their Valentine's Day was marred
When he bought her a cut-price card
It cost 7p
So offended was she
...

Breakfast like a king, they said
It keeps you nice and steady
So I made myself some eggybread
Now I'm Eggybread the Unready
...

I've received some rejections by email,
I've received some rejections by post,
But rejection by text
Though it left me quite vexed
...

You've got to hand it to Carol Ann Duffy
she's so unrhymed, unscanned and unstuffy
and now we've had the royal birth
she's disappeared off the face of the earth
...