Jessica Hernandez (teardrop) (Oct.8th 1991 / Oklahoma (Live in Kansas))
Biography of Jessica Hernandez (teardrop)
Breathe in experience, Breathe out poetry.
My name is Jessica Hernandez and I am 21 years old. I was born in Oklahoma but have lived my whole life in Wichita Kansas. I will be going to college to be a substance abuse counselor but I’m not sure when yet.
I've been through enough in life and that has me writing many poems. I started writing poems when I was in the 6th grade. It was mostly just emotions and thoughts nothing really good or structured. Even now my poetry is free style I dont like the structured poetry it seems to confusing and not real to me.
The years went on and my whole life made a complete turn for the worse. I started doing drugs and became addicted to them. The worse part is that my drug of choice was huffing (inhalants) and I became very addicted to it. Another thing that i was doing and that i still do now is cutting. I try to stop but its a struggle. That all went on for many years until I wasnt able to hide it from the people around me. I was out of control and got arrested many times. I needed help and I got that help from going to rehab for the first time in my life. I Went to rehab had a couple of relapse and finally graduated from there. I stayed sober and straight for awhile. That part of my life inspired me more to continue writing. My poetry became dark, hard and a little depressing. Then later on in life I relapsed and everything went down hill from there. I was back on the drugs especially huffing. Still cutting myself so I could deal with life. I was getting arrested almost every single day. Then finally one day I got arrested but ended up getting booked and went to the juvenile jail. That was the last time that I got arrested. I was in jail for awhile. Then I had my court and the judge sent me to a inpatient rehab facility. Once I graduated from there I went back to jail. I was away from my family for 4 months. After those 4 months I was able to go home but I was placed on house arrest and had to go to rehab again. I was on house arrest for 3 months. I went back to court after those 3 months and was placed on 1 year of intensive probation. On April 7th of 2010 I finally completed my probation and I am finally FREE.
Also another thing that I have been through is psychiatric hospitals. I have been in and out of them since age 14 for many differnet reasons.
With all the things that I did especially the huffing I’m pretty sure that I messed up my brain a little. All those 7-8 years of huffing and drugs using messed me up. Now I have some psychiatric disorders that I say were caused by my using because I didn’t have them before.
That’s my past now let my tell you the here and now. I have made another turn but this time for the better. The only thing that has stayed the same is that I still have the psychiatric disorders and that I cut myself. I try to stop but it is a struggle. I still continue writing the dark and hard poetry because there is so much that I still have to write from back then or I just might be stuck to writing that way. I have been through so much in my life that people thought that I was going to stay at the bottom but I came up and fought. Before I couldn’t imagine myself finishing high school thinking about college or even thinking about my future. I graduated high school. I plan to go to college at some point in my life and I think about my future sometimes. Every single person that meets me and hears or reads my life's story is completely surprised to see that I have come so far in life and haven't gave up on life in many different ways. Poetry has given me the chance to release everything that i have went through in my life without having to tell another person. Poetry has kept me sane and alive.
Now I am Sober. I am so proud of myself.
When did it..
When did it go away? Those happy moments...Those loving moments...Those peaceful days...The light of day...The childhood I once had...It's been so long...Did i even have those things? When did it take over? Sadness...Faded happiness Hate...Turned my heart dark Insanity...Trapped me in it's world Darkness...Covers my light Voices...Killed my chil