jessica roberts

as i carved a heart into my arm
i carved your name underneath that
your name will forever be on my arm
so i can remember thr pain we went through togeather
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From the moment we met
Something felt right
You’ve been here through my problems
You have never once let me down
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A baby sitter who can’t stand kids
A drunken father slaps his children around
A drug addict mother who sleeps and does nothing but get high
A sister who never comes home in time to protect the small ones
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God’s watching over me like a dove
He see's that I’m in search of love.
Then he would find a smart and handsome guy
To send to me … and I would give him the world.
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If my tears could dissolve all the pain in the world
My eyes would be wet all the time
If I could take a mothers pain away for the loss of her child
I would take all her pain away
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On this planet where crying abounds
I can? t wish you joy and no sorrow,
But I can wish you hope as you pass through those times
That you wake to a brighter tomorrow.
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i stood there as my walls of rock fell
these walls fell because i was sad and lonley
i built those walls cuz i wanted protection
they stayed up till he showed up again
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I lie awake at night
And converse with the darkness.
We discuss many things,
The blackness and I.
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I lay on my bed trying to sleep
But sleep refused to come
My thoughts were on you and what I had done
You were no longer with me because I killed you
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I was cleaning today and I found a picture of you,
It caused all these memories and feelings to start,
Visions of the times we shared, good and bad ones too..
Then there were the ones from the day my life was ripped apart.
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As I sat in study hall and Mr. Ewers came in
He sat on the edge of a table and looked around the room
Then he spoke, Kristy died last night
The room was silent for a minute and then girls broke into tears
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As the children prepare for Christmas and the toys they want
It’s a joy to watch as they help put the tree up and decorate it
The ornaments that get broken and the ones from when they were small
To sit back as they decorate Christmas cookies
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My grandfather was a the sweetest man
He was one of the nicest people you’d ever meet
There’s no one else like him
I love you so much grandpa
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The bluebottle has a very pretty color to it
As you sit in a quite room and you can hear the buzzing
As the bluebottle flies around
Then it lands on your arm and you feel a tickle from its tongue
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If no one could see then everyone would be friends
If we could not see it would not matter what any one looked like
If no one could see we would all be friends
No one would be made fun of or laughed at
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The thoughts of you fill my head
I lay down on our bed and close my eyes
The memories of you flood over me
The tears slipped from under my closed eyes
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When I look into these eyes
I find things no one else ever catches a glimpse at

I see this fear of judgment
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I hold in my hand my last source of food
I squeeze it in my mouth
the sweetness envelopes my taste buds
growing increasing the ever small size of my belly
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I remember along time ago in a land far away
I was always happy and then it was all striped away from me
So here I stand on the street begging for extra change
People pass me by without a second glance
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Look at me I’m Satan’s little girl
His little girl who live amongst the mortals
The most precious possession that he has
I am his little girl and I was sent to live among idiots
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