Jo Marie Takes the Knife

Trying to live my life
Tired of all this strife
I've caused pain and tears
from hurt in the past years
...

As I sit back and ponder,
rereading poems I've written years before.
Thinking of the meanings and I began to wonder
are my poems just impish outbursts of a child,
...

Have we become so distant, that I am able to walk by without a glance?
Simply disappear without a trace
And you wouldn't care, nor take notice.
It is my fault that we became this way?
...

Can you understand my anger?
Can you see my tears?
Sometimes I wish death was near
I look at my wrists
...

Can you see the sadness in my eyes?
I know that my pain will never go away
Can you tell that my heart wants to die?
When I wake up I know my pain will not end today
...

My soul is black as night
I live in darkness
Never knowing wrong from right
Starving with madness
...

Can I hold you tight, throughout the night?
Can I lose myself in your eyes, and never have to worry about saying goodbyes?
Can I hear your fears, and understand your tears?
Can I enjoy your kiss, while you make me go through life in bliss?
...

My life seems so long
now that you're gone
I never imagined my world without you
I feel so lost & don't know what to do
...

Through anguish and torture
I let you in from my past to my future
You onced asked why I let it go this way
and at first I knew the answer
...

I always seem to come in second place.
When will it be my turn to shine?
When can I make your eyes light up?
Should I set a date?
...

I've seen your pain, and your hurt.
I'm sorry for treating you like dirt,
I didnt mean to make you cry
nor did I mean it when I wished you would die.
...

Hiding something so deep,
a memory that is mine to keep
A heart filled with hate
a pain that no medicine can sedate
...

Pain etched deep
Memories that you wish to keep
I'm here for you to take a chance
Let me show you fates dance
...

You tell me you love me
And how do I know its true?
Or if me and you were meant to be
With everything thats happened
...

The pain is never ending
There is no new beginning
You had your chance
To make things right
...

I talk with my poems
They are my unspoken words
They are my unknowns
The truth is far deeper
...

For Valentines Day
I don't want chocolates or flowers
or cute little I love you letters
I just want the day to hurry and end
...

People come and go
but the memories stay
Whats the point of saying hello
knowing that one day
...

My child hood years were trying
filled with pain & grief
There was no one there to help me
to trust of give relief
...

Why is it that your words affect me so?
With everything that happened why can't I let go?
I try to be a strong person and keep my head held high
I never had a problem saying goodbye
...