John Wathen

I am a poor old fairy,
from the top of the christmas tree.
And as you enjoy yourselves this Christmas,
spare a thought for me.
...

Not all cats are fat cats,
some are thin and lean.
Some have eyes of deepest brown,
while others eyes are green.
...

When we first met,
I loved you red.
Fire and passion in my bed.
With passing years,
...

How often can you put on a brave face?
Because this one is wearing thin.
This mask of indifference I'm showing,
is slowly crumbling in.
...

Sitting in the cafe,
with a cup of tea and pie,
Looking at the car park,
gazing at the sky.
...

Its been told in lots of stories,
even written down in verse,
that in a Hedgehog v Cortina fight,
the hedgehog comes off worse.
...

I want to be an Essex driver
and drive my car so fast
and leave others in my slipstream
as I go tearing past
...

There will be no sex for me at Christmas,
I'm sleeping on the floor.
Uncle Ken will be in my bed,
and the kids are in next door.
...

Along the boulevard of broken dreams
The scattered starlets lie,
the casting couch as cast them out
and left their dreams to die.
...

I suffer from that seasonal disorder,
you know Winter bothers me.
I hate the sight
when you come home at night
...

Oh I love you Mr. Cameron,
the feelings mutual Mr Clegg
You got me into power,
I did'nt need to beg.
...

I've been replaced by a Rampant Rabbit.
a bloody mechanical toy,
that seems to have the habit
of giving my Girlfriend joy.
...

I know you will never love me,
you know I'll always care.
I know in times of trouble,
you know I will be there.
...

If they took away the sunshine,
I could replace it with your smile.

If they took away the starlight,
...

I think I'm past my sell by date,
I've been taken off display,
and put on the shelf as cheap goods,
marked down for final day.
...

Some people think that the cure for all ills,
is a tumbler of scotch and a handful of pills.
Others swear to end your life,
you need a nice hot bath and a good sharp knife,
...

What can you do if you lose
my trust?
What can be done if you abuse
my trust?
...

I suppose that strictly speaking,
pigs can't really fly,
and you 'd never get a camel
through a needles eye.
...

I can't stand the cold, cold winter.
The rain. The sleet. The snow.
I need the sun upon my back,
so its towards the South I go.
...

I am a local hero,
my exploits are world wide.
When our team won the F.A. Cup,
I was the captain of the side.
...