Joyce Rugg Poems

They don't see who I really am; they don't even care
If I play along, it's as if I'm not even there
'a straight A student' they brag and boast
Of nothing, a lie, a ghost
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Pain, a constantly consuming companion
It drives me to act with reckless abandon
Like a feral beast, I claw at my cage
All too quickly, sadness takes the place of rage
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Trapped, in endless dark
Searching, hoping for a spark
Blackness all around,
It's weight driving me to the ground
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Even on a sunny day I am trapped in a storm
Shrieking wind in my ears; the words meaningless
The sky turns black; all is darkness
Rain and hail batter me, cold and painful
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Who I am day to day is never the same
Some days an icy blizzard, others scorching flame
One minute a raging storm, the next a sunny day
Both the angel of the past and the ghoul of today
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You’ve closed your mouth,
But the words remain
Hanging on drunken breath
A dark and growing stain
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Psychotic,
Insane,
A lunatic,
Deranged
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You say the truth’s what you want to hear,
But experience makes me lie
Survival is keeping my poker face,
It’s smiling when I want to cry
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</>What will it take,
To make this stop?
I’m sick of this cliff,
Just let me drop
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You'll do anything to win
Without a second thought
Does comfort make it easier
To forget what you've been taught?
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