justine spohn

I live a lie.
I pretend to be someone im not,
On the outside i seem happy.
Like im perfectly fine and all.
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Pissed as hell
He made me mad
I want to yell
That’s always bad
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i am so alone...
with no one home.
no frends to call and i hate you all.
im so alone
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Pretty girl, who is to blame
they don’t even know her name
Saddened, who cries at night
The one who’s always out of sight
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She is the girl with all the friends

but the she feels alone
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I could have the brightest stars from the darkest of nights and the largest of diamonds from the deepest of mines but I would forsake them all for your sweet kisses.
I could have a Trillion dollars and The most precouse of gems I would trade it all in for your sweet kisses.
I could have the rarest of rubys and the biggest of pearls but i would give it all away for your sweet kisses.
I could have the purest of silver and gold and a ticket to heaven but i would sell them for your sweet kisses.
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Depression is when you can't sleep and you get so bored looking at your roof, that you spend week’s nights contemplating what to do with it only to find that you wouldn't have enough determination to do it.
Depression isn't always suicide. It’s obvious to only you. And always will be my way of life. It makes you gain weight, lose weight, not eat, eat too much. It has a feeling of death. It kills you even if you have the best things in the world.
Depression is no family, real friends or a love life. It’s the broken pieces of your heart. It’s the twisted sense of time. It’s seeing happiness everywhere you go. It’s hoping to survive and having no hope as well.
Depression isn't contemplating suicide, but wishing you were already there. It’s losing an enthusiasm for something you once loved. It’s when you hate yourself for no reason at all. It’s the hatred of your family you don’t even know.
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Mom is my hero and my light.
I look to her for the things i need even when she doesnt know it.
She is the greatest influence because i can learn from her mistakes and choose to make my own.
She and i havent had the most time together but we are closer than ever and i love her so.
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Here is the time to write and rynme.
A place of sanity and sane.
Somewere i can go to be me.
No fake smile no mask to were.
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Can this be true some one please dont pinch me.
I have this strange feeling in me.
I am smiling without trying and i think its called being happy.
I'm not sure really.
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Surrouned by people names and faces familure to the senses but more alone than ever. Emoitanal, physical, and mentaly abused.'Give up there is no use'They all say it the same. Couples around me something drounds me.

Suffercated, unbelievably jaded and sometimes faded.Torn, mixed, shattered then fixed. Somewere far off in my head in a land free of dred.Safe in your arms farthest from all harm. I wont give up no how no way.All these negatives but your somehow just so positive.
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I hear people speak of tears and sorrow.
I hear people speak of no tomorrow
You speak of crying while you fell.
You don't know what tears are until you've been to my side of hell...
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The mighty and beautiful red rose sits highest in the bush.
In the best corner of the yard where the sun shines all day.
A perfect amount of golden rays an angle among the saints.
Among the normal flower.
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Death is when your loved ones depart,

It is a sharp pain to your heart...
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why do i?
why continue to live.
why keep going
when all the people that i love
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i try to stop cutting
i want o stop cutting
but i cant that cold metal razor agianst my skin
the metalic bloody tast in my mouth
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I have failed you as a daughter
i bet your ashamed to be my father

failing life and failing school
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oooooh i am pushing up those daisy's even though they haaate me!
those daisy's they love you baby never me!
you garden them and fed them fertilizer.., but me i only pee :)
my laundry is done..
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