Kayla Ruiz

i love you so f*cking much
id do anything for your touch
rub my back then scratch my skin
do it deep wear it thin
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locking the door holding a knife
debating on weather to take my life
start to laugh when i slit my wrist
stab it in begin to twist
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you'll never find a cold heart unless it was a sweet heart
never find a dead soul just one thats sleeping
never find a dead person if so she was killed
tap waters polluted by the government, drink it and you'll be just like them
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tie my victims to a chair
super glue em to it bare
staple there eyes so they can watch
wire coat hanger up there crotch
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brake into your house when your not awake
looking for your room its your life i want to take
ill kill your family in front of you
because of the sh*t you cant undo
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your eyes are full of passion i wish i could unfold
the beauty that lies within to me let it behold
dreams of finding happiness no longer do i dream
it came strait to me as strangely as it seems
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crazed and demented stretched beyond belief
looking and searching for a perminite relief
deranged and insane is everyone inside
if you tell me other wise ill know that you have lied
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dazed and confused i can not rise above
the spell you put me under for i fell in love
the masculence, the tenderness, the beauty i saw inside
you withdrawl all those things but theres one you can not hide
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lost for words to speak from my heart
where do i begin? where do i start?
emotions exploding thoughts raging
keep gettin lost for words what am i saying?
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dark pain flows through exhausted veins
stearing out of control lost grip on the reins
memories wont fade the scares i have are sore
the bodies empty a drunkin mess on the floor
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waking up exhausted color drained out my face
everything looks the same but somethings out of place
the house is quiet but all the kids are here
going to met mom in her bedroom my emotions start to stear
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living in a place where love doesn't exist
filled with the madness expressed upon my wrists
voices talking in my head taunting me secretly
left to wounder on my own all i have is myself i am my own security
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influenced by others and their beliefs
striving to grow by my own struggling to find relief
brainwashed they are contaminating Americas young
anarchists revolutionized taking over singing to a new song
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our love that blossomed turned into another
turning both of us around now a father and a mother
our son will beautiful strong like no other
promise me one day well give him a brother
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feelings kept secret from words i cant exsplain
a beautiful creation my bloods flowing through your veins
time will pass and ill start to show
during the wait my untainted love will grow
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if you've done it your not human; your worth nothing
ill tell you strait up your f*cking disgusting
even our president thinks its ok
im speaking up for those who cant say
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as i take another dose of these drugs
i imagine that i am covered in bugs
i go to sleep in my bed and am found in an orchard
look at my disgraceful body thin and tor chard
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as feverish spokes grabs and chokes
lost in translation covered in cloaks
in a castle where i must wait and dwell
shutting all my hopes and dreams in a shell
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friend are friends forever
if they never leave each other
friends are friends forever
if they stick up for one another
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Ive never felt more lost in this life
i thought all the answers were in a gun or a knife
i could loose you in this life of mine
Ive never had the chance to shine
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