lil miss

you called me darling
but you caused me pain
you told me you loved me
but was it all in vain?
...

...

...

are ya catchin' what i'm throwin'?
are ya reapin' what i'm sewin'?
are ya sniffin' what i'm blowin'?
are ya smokin' what i'm growin'?
...

i'm over the sappy pathetic stories
i wanna write poetry about my glories
either that or killing, its a two track mind
speakin' of either one of 'em helps me unwind
...

now you sit there, crying, feeling miniscule,
your face is so blank yet you look so insecure,
you can't drown your sorrows but you're drowning anyway,
your heart gets colder as you grow older but you say it's just childs play,
...

your eyes, those lips, the way you smell...
this secret is too good to tell...
but sometimes its too much to hide...
the way i feel about you inside.
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never written about a man because i'm yet to understand one,
all the ones i've trusted made me wish i had a handgun,
i'll expose their brains like they've exposed my soul,
i'll leave their bodies full of holes,
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black 'n' red dreadlocks,
bedroom door deadlocked,
tape over the hinges,
so nobody see's syringes,
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i asked her straight out, 'who will it be? '
'are you gonna choose him or you gonna choose me? '
she pauses and replies 'i honestly dont know'
and she leaves me hangin' right there in limbo
...

woke up screamin 'f*ck the world' today,
though i screamed it last night too,
my sunny days are now so gray,
but for years my skies were blue.
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picked at, pulled at, torn to pieces..
the invasion of privacy never ceases.

empty shell, hollowed out..
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you come and go like you don't belong,
every place fits so wrong,
gypsy lifestyle and mysterious eyes,
there's more to you than you imply,
...

man... i dont trust her
better get away before the Lunesta
pills start kickin into her system
thats when she starts pickin her victims
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...

i thought it was real but i was obviously dreaming,
that i was alone in my bed quietly sleeping,
when my door came open & someone was sneaking,
into my room and they were creeping,
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next to my bed
on the window sill
so while i sleep
i can feel it still
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roll the note up tightly
tap the card just lightly
you do the same thing nightly
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i float like a dead body,
'n' sting like a needle,
you wanna see it first hand?
then jus' step in my steeple.
...

i try to gain weight
but somehow i keep it off
things start to taste
like the things im eatin' off
...