Margaret Kollmer Poems

Forsooth, O Shabby one;
we hear your pardon song
When other poorly souls perforce
must languish hard and long.
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I know a man so very wonderful, so good and fine
I know I very much-a wanting him-a to be mine
He very strong and very mighty like makulu ox
And he also very funny in his bedtime sox.
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My father comes from London
En Ma sy’s van de Aar
My Ma say sê mos ‘Dankie’
And Pater: ‘Ever so ta! ’
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Now Dlamini was a mini-Zulu chieftain
At least that’s what he rather liked to think
But Dlamini didn’t laugh when his Mama said, I chaff:
Go help your Pa because you’re driving me to drink!
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Johannesburg (Lyric)

Johannesburg
Johannesburg
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(with Leonard Cohen in mind)

I told the kids my day was made
When the car turned into River Glade
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Pub-Pub was but a little lad when he realised he was different. He didn't mind very much as his parents, Madam and Eve, were delighted with their little miracle and taught him how to cook and knit skull caps wit Neanderthal flair.

One day after a long snooze, Pub-Pub painted himself with woad and decided to re-visit the history of the world in his own unusual way. It wasn't as though he was a particularly bright child and, since he had never paid much attention to his history lessons at school, he really didn't know very much about the subject at all. About who arrived first, middle or last or even anything about the Who who was in any edition of Who's Who. Detail of any sort didn't bother him in the least, so one day, he picked up his bat and glove and went out to score a few Centuries. How excited he was, though somewhat Confucius, when he saw some people in Shantung suits writing with pen and Incas. But not for long, for there was someone of whom he grew Fonda as every moment passed. What a thrill it was for him to see the Barbarella of CNN frolicking with an army of Hun-buns who were heavily engorged in feasting on a Mongolian barbeque together with a few Danish tarts.
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This was written by an advertising executive, Graham Warsop, who was recently inducted into the Hall of Fame by the SA Creative Circle.


1. Be brave
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A visit to your doctor is not what anyone would call a favourite pastime, yet it seems that no matter when you happen to have reason to be there, his rooms are always chock-full of patients and ‘impatients’ as well as a fair sprinkling of the ubiquitous born-again hypochondriacs.

Now, I must say at the outset, that I have nothing personal against doctors. Some of them are my best friends. Getting to see them, let alone speak to them, is another story.
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The year was 1943 and whilst Hitler was rampaging across Europe here, at home in South Africa, a young boy was creating havoc by scaring his sisters witless with his own particular brand of war games.

Television had not yet made its appearance but perhaps radio and dinner table talk between our parents, family and friends was spilling into the little tyrant’s brain but whatever it was, we were not amused.
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