Melissa Koeman

I realized that I wasn’t myself anymore
The world was passing me by
I lost myself in misconceptions
Lost myself in strange illusions
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No call, no email
No book, no movie, no poem
No coffee, no massage
No one that says: Hey come on, keep your head held high!
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I’m sitting here sometimes all alone
At midnight behind my computer
Writing, shedding my tears
Writing my dark poetry
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A warm and beautiful day
It means nothing
Fields full of flowers that blossom
It means nothing
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Again hurt by words
Stupid words… that didn’t make sense
Maybe I should’ve thought: whatever, I don’t care
But I couldn’t because in fact it did hurt me like hell
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Today the darkness sets in
My heart blackened
And broke in two
Who can save me from myself
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You see the thing in me that others couldn’t see
Let me keep this feeling forever
The feeling that words can’t really describe
A feeling that goes deeper than anything has ever done
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Looking for a person that isn’t me
Maybe I should accept that I am who I am
And that I cannot change myself
Not change my miserable self
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I’m sick of being your fool
Time after time you wrap me round your finger
Every time I ask myself why do I let that happen?
Why do I still care for you?
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I can see the judgement in their eyes
Feel their eyes burning
Maybe I’m just paranoid but
I feel that I’m being caged in their thoughts
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Black, a colour
Black, like ink
Black, how I’m dressed
Black, makes the soul forget
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I had my doubts girl but now I know that
I'm in love with something real
If I you would be mine…
You would be the star in my sky
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My sky is dark again
I’m tired of looking for sympathy
Tired of my life
Tired of this mad world
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It gets more confusing everyday
Nothing feels right
Don’t know what to believe anymore
Don’t know if I should care anymore
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I’m lying tied to the rails
In the distance I can hear the train coming…
I feel the vibrating of the rails
It’s getting nearer and nearer
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The look in her eyes shows it all
She’s lost control
She doesn’t know what to do
Or how to react
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Walking away from nothing

Running from the one person which I cared about
I didn’t say a word
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Your sad eyes
Staring into the darkness
You’re leading yourself into the void
Feeling your pain in my soul
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Three words
Still unsaid
In oblivion I want to be
But my heart beats faster every time I see you
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Static in my head
I don’t know what to feel
My words are lost somewhere
I’m unable to speak my mind
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