miski abshir Poems

Anger, burning up inside
Monster, growing more powerful with every word
Control, dreadfully slipping away
Myself, slipping into the dark corners of my mind
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Can you hear me
Can you see me
Come to me
Bow down to me
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Kill me sweetly
kill me softly
I let you hurt me
I let you use me
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I am learning life
Step by step
I wanna be someone
I am learning how
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Sitting silently
watching the world go by
beautiful scenes play out
sweet serenity
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reality is going away
slipping silently from my grasp
Shameless and nameless I am told
collapsing into unconsciousness
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“STOP IT, ” I yelled to the empty room, I wanted myself to stop thinking about him. Darien was a murderer, he killed people, he was a monster, he wasn’t even human, and he was my best friends brother. My mind didn’t listen, as I drifted unconscious his face played across my dreams and I imagined him being close to me, I could almost feel his deep steady breaths, so far apart. I could smell the fresh night air, I could feel his eyes watching me. “Hey, ” I whispered, I had no voice, I had no power, I had no control, he was in the perfect position to kill me, I would never be able to move, to react.
I opened my eyes, he was there, he was real, I wasn’t dreaming, he had a dagger in his hand, it looked like glass, with a ruby handle and gold scrollwork, the blade was sharp, I could feel it against my stomach, he had me. Then suddenly he flew back, it took me a moment to process, the weight lifted, he was pushed against my living room wall, then he ran onto my deck. I got up and ran after him. He wasn’t there, the cold was sharp, I couldn’t stay out there. I didn’t even ask how he got down, I had been saved by him, I knew what he could do.
Had he tried to kill me?
Why didn’t he?
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Sometimes I think about the way we left it
Without a single word
Open wounds
Slammed doors
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One last smile
One last tear
One last goodbye
I struggle in your grasp
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I’m screaming
It’s all I can do
I am screaming
Because no one will hear me
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