Ogden Nash Poems

Behold the hippopotamus!
We laugh at how he looks to us,
And yet in moments dank and grim,
I wonder how we look to him.
...

There is a knocking in the skull,
An endless silent shout
Of something beating on a wall,
And crying, “Let me out!”
...

This is my dream,
It is my own dream,
I dreamt it.
I dreamt that my hair was kempt.
...

The people upstairs all practise ballet
Their living room is a bowling alley
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
...

When people aren't asking questions
They're making suggestions
And when they're not doing one of those
They're either looking over your shoulder or stepping on your toes
...

My fellow man I do not care for.
I often ask me, What's he there for?
The only answer I can find
Is, Reproduction of his kind.
...

How wise I am to have instructed the butler
to instruct the first footman to instruct the second
footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage;
I am about to volunteer a definition of marriage.
...

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
...

Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with.
And with whom they breakfast with and sup with.
They interfere with the discipline of nurseries,
And forget anniversaries,
...

Though you know it anyhow
Listen to me, darling, now,
...