Olivia Harris

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The Most Beautiful Silence

the first silence was the day we met.
the complete, utter peace that filled my ears when my eyes fell upon your face.
you were standing there, looking down.
and everyone else disappeared.
and you didn't see me-
but at that moment,
i gave my heart, mind, and soul to you.

the second silence was the bleeding.
the angry wordlessness that bombarded my temples.
the blood, the cut in your arm that gushed like it was a fountain...
i held you and never wanted to let you go,
and brushed away your tears with my kisses.

the third silence was the night.
when i held you, listened to your heartbeat, and it was the sole thing that i have ever heard that i felt deep inside of me.
you were asleep, but my eyes couldn't close, because one blink was one moment i would miss.
and so i covered you up and sang softly in your ear.

the fourth silence was the smile.
the smile in the isolation, that lit your world and mine.
being held in a modern day asylum because of our addiction to drugs and razorblades, and anything to remove us temporarily.
but mainly i was there, because of my addiction to you,
and because i realized that if i didn't go i wouldn't see your face for a long time.

the fifth silence was the gun.
smiling at me, glinting in the dim light of my lamp.
it could take me away, no more pain, forever.
you told me it was over...
that you didn't want me anymore.
and it was my fault.
put i put away the bullets,
and then the silence was my tears.

To say that all we had was sorrow, it would be a lie.
The happiest times of my life were with you.
Holding you gave me a sense of pride and security I never knew i could feel.

But it's over,
and my happiness has completely over came our melancholy love.
and in the grey sky at the graveyard, the trees are leafless and cold;
where i propsed, where the laughter rang out and the tears fell...
it stays in my memory...
silently.

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