12: 48 Poem by Peter Vector

It is 12: 48 on the clock face...
I'm awake, but tired
As my thoughts drift softly to you
Will everything truly be alright?
So the time may keep hushed lips
But what for?
A second chance at redemption, not truly the first

Odd, great inspiration resides in this flesh
Against the odds at such an, dare I say odd hour
So how will tomorrow fair?
Sunny or Overcast? Windy or Calm?
With or without these conditions one thing remains...
The big wall between how we each feel...
This thought become apparent at 12: 54 in the morning

Why is this so?
Why do we remember such thing as what one did?
What the past holds the present can rectify
Or so it seems, not in our darkest time, no
But surely when all is said and done
Justification may be proven by present actions
Not taken to late, of course

But without you I feel not lost, but...
It's queer, as of now not really hurting
But it's as if a piece of me is missing
Why does my heart yearn for anyone at 12: 57 in the early morning?

What is it about you?
What makes you so special you ask,
Well you and me both...
What is it about you that makes the glimmer in my eyes shine?
Or the sadness in your tone that causes me great grief in my soul?
It's awful to be baffling madness such as this at 1: 00 A.M.

But I can't help but type out these thoughts
Typing as if to you
Knowing somewhere out there you may one day read this...
Yet, I doubt you'll ever get to hear this from my mouth
You know as well as I envy is a terrible sassy spastic thing
Always when I get close it pushes me back into hate and pain

Something you just don't feel
At 1: 03 when you dead tired in the morning/ night
Whichever you take it...
I only keep myself awake by these sort of thoughts
Keying the things that come to mind as I think about...
You, the break-up, my anger, my jealousy, my idiocy, my hurt

I love you, if that isn't obvious enough
I've cried some many tears over you
I've laughed with you so many times as well
But I'll never have looked into those beautiful blue eyes enough
I doubt I'll ever get the chance though, I must point out
You belong to another, yes?
Go off with him, do whatever you please...

I just have but one question looming over me
At 1: 08 in the why do I think about the girl that I told'
'I love you' why did I say it?
That I know of course...
Because when you break down the barriers built
And the sacrifices of love and the pain that went into them
I said it because I truly do love this girl, but
When she told me,
'I love you, too', while she has someone else
That's what truly puzzles me...
Who does she love...
Is it me, the one that is a back bitter,
The Judas to my own soul?
Or does she truly love him?
The one she is with now?

The thoughts still swim around int my head
I'm awake, but tired
And at 1: 16 I seem to find this being complete...
Good-night my ex-lover
I love you...
But if you do, why do you love me?