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3 The Mesmerizing Chainsaw
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User Rating: |
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9.9
/10
(19
votes)
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**To a mermaid from a pathetic dying fish! ! !
Swans, Pigeons, and Flamingoes
Cursed and chastised
The dying fish
Another year of intolerable
Pain, suffering, and desolation
A year of Torment, misery and isolation
The Fish
Ached in excruciation
Cried from abomination
Every wish, bless or curse
The dream of a dark hearse
Made him Twist and turn
Twirl, coil and burn
A dreadful Sea serpent
Rising from the white sea.
For a glimpse
Fish or the the serpent saw light,
A radiant beam of survival
An exhilarating sight
The sore eyes
The veins for a moment
Rippled in ecstasy
The scene of the angelic mermaid
The smile
Alluring and shining as always
Her fin
Swaying and glittering as sea’s waves
Yet
Is it her fin that whipped?
A knife? A dagger? A stiletto?
No a chainsaw
A mesmerizing chainsaw
Gleaming and sparkling as ever
.
That ripped apart the fish’s insides
A slaughter
The limbs gashed
The lungs crashed
The skull smashed
The legs dashed
The veins slashed
The virus, the germs
Contamination all released
The White Sea, turned black
With the darkness in the blood
Did he die?
No,
Fish is but walking corpse
Torn to pieces
Only the Mermaid’s
Electrifying words can rejuvenate
Copyright 2009 Shashendra Amalshan
Shashendra Amalshan
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Comments about this poem (3 The Mesmerizing Chainsaw
by
Shashendra Amalshan
) |
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comments about this poem (3 The Mesmerizing Chainsaw by
Shashendra Amalshan
)
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Sarwar Chowdhury
(9/30/2009 2:03:00 PM) |
praiseworthy your poetic power dear shan! i remember anderson's the little mermaid!
10+
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Yacov Mitchenko
(9/18/2009 7:05:00 AM) |
Shashendra, your writing is still quite green and can use a little restraint. But you have a very good imagination. I think that with time you will develop into a fine poet. To say that a fish is a walking corpse is surreal surely. The ocean suggests vastness and grand emotions. Yes, I see that you love this woman dearly. If you want a poem about love, check out 'Love Song of a Korean Woman'. You might enjoy it.
My friend, I believe you have talent, but it needs to grow and mature.
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Deborah Cromer
(8/25/2009 12:48:00 PM) |
Written words of strong control. Feelings mixed with danger and acceptance, this poem shows what forces come together when recognized. Mystery and realization form foundation for an interesting tale. Deep feelings and thoughts combining to share moments. Good work and nicely done. DC
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Louis Rams
(8/24/2009 6:58:00 PM) |
the fish may be a walking corpse, but she is the one at a loss.
if the beautiful mermaid can not see, that whats in front of her
is meant to be, then she deserves much less, for your love is the very best.
(if this was written on your new years day, then she should of had something to say, for your love won't just fade away)
a very, very, good write, and heartfelt and compassionate.
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Hugo Sanchez
(8/15/2009 9:34:00 AM) |
very creative, great imagination, well done.
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Sulaiman Mohd Yusof
(8/15/2009 1:56:00 AM) |
Paying a little and getting a little.Some doesn't get it at all, but life needs to move on even if many have died, on its way.
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Kristina B; Williams
(8/14/2009 9:07:00 PM) |
thanks for the invite, i found this poem very exhilararing, and intense..dont dare delet your poems, for any reason especially if they are made and wrote of your experiences and feelings..dont count on the votes either, for people do read your poems, and even though they may not comment nor vote, it may be due to pure greed, or ignorance, or laziness, for everyone wants to be that #1..i dont care, about the votes, i do care on the comments, if you read my bio you'd know why...i think your very talented and creative and gave you a 10++++++
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Glamorous Enigma
(8/14/2009 7:41:00 AM) |
powerful poem! ! !
I liked your pen!
it makes me remember the generic of Arizona Dream... 'this is a film about man and fish.........'
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Fay Slimm
(8/13/2009 3:39:00 AM) |
Power in every line - - and excitement which makes for a very good read - - Shan you have a talented pen.... keep writing - - the title is intriguing too.....10/10 from Fay..
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