33: Years Out Of Exile Poem by Derrick Clark

33: Years Out Of Exile

Rating: 4.1


All my life, it felt like I was in a atonement for enternity.
Trap in this mental prison called the system.
As I am the prey, while they is the predator.
Running for dear life, to escape this mental carnage.
Wondering why I, have to experience so much failure and pain.
Coming with a solution, to starve out this beast.
Reaching within myself, to bring out this hidden warrior.
That ready to unleash his fury.
Knowing the key weapon is sacrifice and will.
Finally realize,33 years of my life.
My mind is my ammo, to overcome my darkest hour.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Not a member No 4 26 April 2007

Derrick - life is about answering questions. Taking them on is the challenge, but you know that already. There are a few typos in this which a re-read should sort out, but the ideas and the structure are sound. Makes sense to me and you have the right attitude - the right ammo to handle the problems you've set yourself up to take on. Keep writing. You've got what it takes. That was a remarkable coincidence - you coming to my poem via Ivor (the poem you critted before mine) - he was the Ivor I mentioned in mine! ! ! Thanks for the comment. Much appreciated. The best to you, jim.

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Ivor Hogg 23 May 2007

You are more than you think every one is unique and we cal all improve ourselves. I look forward to reading more of your work when I have time. ivor

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Cyclopseven R 12 May 2007

This is a good one buddy. We hardly know who we are and what we are capable of doing until we 'unleash the soldier within' as per your poetic line. We are eternal. No matter what comes by, stand brave

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Kathy Anderson 02 May 2007

That's the spirit dear, hang in there and keep up the good writing.

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Patti Masterman 28 April 2007

This is a tightly constructed verse. Seems to be a wellspring of inspiration with many yet unleashed tales behind this one. So exciting to find a brand new poet. Keep on writing, no matter what.

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Ted Sheridan 27 April 2007

God bless you Derrick. You keep up with your writing.

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Derrick Clark

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