David DeSantis

Rookie (01/29/85 / Utica, NY)

..5: 03 AM

In this late hour,
I'm utterly alone.
no one,

Your ego driven view
a cracked hour glass,


why couldn't you have her,
too beautiful


a pillow can comfort

and alone.

Submitted: Sunday, July 13, 2008
Edited: Sunday, July 13, 2008

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Comments about this poem (..5: 03 AM by David DeSantis )

  • Rookie Reshma Ramesh (10/3/2008 9:56:00 AM)

    read mine on the same lines....iam so alone and 2 in the morning (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 213 Points Palas Kumar Ray (8/7/2008 2:01:00 PM)

    Love, Ego,   conflict, Loneliness

    Blended so well! ! !

    (10) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Roger Cornish (7/28/2008 2:44:00 AM)

    Love the style and economy. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Casey Gauthier (7/17/2008 10:01:00 AM)

    great writing. makes me feel it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 57 Points Yuri Duraan (7/15/2008 3:59:00 PM)

    Rebel Heart's critique is spot-on... you certainly know how to create the embience of a poem.... well done Mr Mr! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Rebel Heart (7/14/2008 2:09:00 PM)

    The sparseness of the words upon the page, the image of the cracked hourglass and the repitition you use combine to create a sense of lonely contemplation in which the only thing you can do is embrace the restlessness of the hour...another fine piece of writing David. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Original Unknown Girl (7/14/2008 10:59:00 AM)

    Everything always seems so bleak when we're awake at that time in the morning. Hope the sunlight helped to make it all better. HG: -) xx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tara very irritated with PH injustice (7/13/2008 4:39:00 AM)

    Uncanny. At precisely that same time I was feeling precisely that same thing. Only you penned it better than I thought it. (Oh, you know what I mean) . t x (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 72 Points Kesav Easwaran (7/13/2008 4:33:00 AM)

    egos do conflict each other, david...conditional and incomplete love makes you a lone captive in its cage......you wrote it out very well (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Emancipation Planz (7/13/2008 4:16:00 AM)

    kia ora bro... you're back with us... aaargh I now see why.. what the hell you doing awake at that hour! ! ! ! have you read my #6? aroha xx... PS I do not doubt not much time will pas before the next hour glass instrument presents to pillow (Report) Reply

Read all 10 comments »

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