Janice M Pickett

Rookie (Middlesex England)

50 Ways to get rid of a jerk

1...Well the most obviously one is to poison him.
But then you would end up in jail and that would
take away the freedom you so wanted

2...This ones a winner...works every time.
Whilst he is in the bath getting ready to go out
with the 'boys' (yeh Right!)
You rub iching powder and cayenne pepper into
his under pants..It works a treat. hehe.
He should be scratching for a week and
SHE should have a serious burn
that keeps her away from him for ever.

3...Change the locks on doors and windows.
When he tries to smash his way in, set the security
alarm off and have him arrested.
Tell them you never saw him before in your life.
Then give him a knowing wink as they cart him off.
Nothing makes them madder than that. Yeh!

4...Make him a wonderful dinner.Dress as sexy as hell
Tell him you are ready for Lurve...
Handcuff him to the bed then cover him in honey.
Go fetch the bee hive you bought earlier and
shake it over him then leave the hive lying at
the bottom of the bed and get the flock our of there.

5...At some stage he should start getting the message that

you want him gone. If not try the following fool

proof methods.

6...Get your Mother to move in Man will that scare him!)

7...Get your grandmother to move in, (false teeth and all)

8...Get your new lover to move in (that should tell him he's not wanted)

9...Get his Mother to move in (If that doesn't drive him out nothing will)

10..Get his Boss to start dropping by for dinner(that'll scare the C out of him)

11...Well if he is still there after all that I'd be thinking about

taking a long vacation in the Bahamas leaving him with a houseful

of very strange people to cope with. By the time you get back

he should have fled the country himself

12...Let Immigration know he's a terrorist. Stop him getting back into

your country when he finally thinks it's safe to return.

13...Whilst he is overseas. Sell the house. Move at least 200 kilometers


14... Change your name

15...Change your hair colour

16...Change your appearance

17...Send the kids into Foster care

18...Send them to another state also

19...Find a Latino Lover

20...- 50... Live happily ever after

Submitted: Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Do you like this poem?
0 person liked.
0 person did not like.

Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (50 Ways to get rid of a jerk by Janice M Pickett )

Enter the verification code :

  • Rookie - 0 Points Naseer Ahmed Nasir (3/27/2009 9:23:00 PM)

    Another way you forgot is to make him listen this poem, he will run away. Good humorous write. Enjoyed the reading.

    Best Wishes
    Naseer (Report) Reply

Read all 1 comments »

Trending Poets

Trending Poems

  1. The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
  2. If, Rudyard Kipling
  3. If You Forget Me, Pablo Neruda
  4. Dreams, Langston Hughes
  5. Invictus, William Ernest Henley
  6. Daffodils, William Wordsworth
  7. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
  8. Alone, Edgar Allan Poe
  9. Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
  10. And Then There Was Love, Sandra Feldman

Poem of the Day

poet Alfred Edward Housman

The time you won your town the race
We chaired you through the market-place;
Man and boy stood cheering by,
And home we brought you shoulder-high.

...... Read complete »


Member Poem

New Poems

  1. Nothing can break the focus., Sumita Jetley
  2. Ever So Cute, riya misi
  3. Unlock From Sockets, Lawrence S. Pertillar
  4. PRAY OUT YOUR PAST, Michael P. Johnson
  5. Christmas, Titiksa Dugar
  6. alphabet you two bucks you drive a truck, Mandolyn ...
  7. Open the floodgate.., veeraiyah subbulakshmi
  8. A Dream Of Death,, Luo Zhihai
  9. Feeling Your Spirit, Michael P. McParland
  10. Word, Birgitta Heikka
[Hata Bildir]