Treasure Island

Janice M Pickett

(Middlesex England)

50 Ways to get rid of a jerk


1...Well the most obviously one is to poison him.
But then you would end up in jail and that would
take away the freedom you so wanted

2...This ones a winner...works every time.
Whilst he is in the bath getting ready to go out
with the 'boys' (yeh Right!)
You rub iching powder and cayenne pepper into
his under pants..It works a treat. hehe.
He should be scratching for a week and
SHE should have a serious burn
that keeps her away from him for ever.

3...Change the locks on doors and windows.
When he tries to smash his way in, set the security
alarm off and have him arrested.
Tell them you never saw him before in your life.
Then give him a knowing wink as they cart him off.
Nothing makes them madder than that. Yeh!

4...Make him a wonderful dinner.Dress as sexy as hell
Tell him you are ready for Lurve...
Handcuff him to the bed then cover him in honey.
Go fetch the bee hive you bought earlier and
shake it over him then leave the hive lying at
the bottom of the bed and get the flock our of there.

5...At some stage he should start getting the message that

you want him gone. If not try the following fool

proof methods.



6...Get your Mother to move in Man will that scare him!)

7...Get your grandmother to move in, (false teeth and all)

8...Get your new lover to move in (that should tell him he's not wanted)

9...Get his Mother to move in (If that doesn't drive him out nothing will)

10..Get his Boss to start dropping by for dinner(that'll scare the C out of him)



11...Well if he is still there after all that I'd be thinking about

taking a long vacation in the Bahamas leaving him with a houseful

of very strange people to cope with. By the time you get back

he should have fled the country himself



12...Let Immigration know he's a terrorist. Stop him getting back into

your country when he finally thinks it's safe to return.



13...Whilst he is overseas. Sell the house. Move at least 200 kilometers

away.



14... Change your name



15...Change your hair colour



16...Change your appearance



17...Send the kids into Foster care



18...Send them to another state also



19...Find a Latino Lover



20...- 50... Live happily ever after

Submitted: Tuesday, March 24, 2009

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Comments about this poem (50 Ways to get rid of a jerk by Janice M Pickett )

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  • Naseer Ahmed Nasir (3/27/2009 9:23:00 PM)

    Another way you forgot is to make him listen this poem, he will run away. Good humorous write. Enjoyed the reading.

    Best Wishes
    Naseer (Report) Reply

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