627. A Lunatic's Reckoning 200712 Poem by Raman Savithiri

These are my daily tricks to catch you
Long before sun rise I wake up
To chant Your names I take bath;
While doing household chores
I hear and sing devotional songs
Letting Your glory to fill my tongue;
After a while, I practice yoga
And sit in the name of dhyana
For an hour or two as a stone;
Evening or by the day end
I make sure I rolled the beads
Of my japamala a thousand times;
Recently I added kriya else given by
Jaggi to separate body, mind and real I

In between these practices
Many a times losing my logic witty
I slip into hatred, anger and lust in a jiffy!
I know not how to prevent them
The sea of samskaara has no fathom!
It is immaterial if troubles come
From within or without.
It is only a shame for Your glorious names
If the world will mock at my customs

I admit I am neither an avatar nor a saint,
I do not have a lineage of orthodox parent,
I am born in a caste of crude passions,
Definitely which only I deserve,
Since I too must go a long way
To cultivate myself to be Your fan.
But where is my voyage to You found?
While climbing to reach Your abode,
If I ascend one step the steep mount
I slide ten steps down, losing my route!

I sit aside and utter Your names still loudly
For, I know not what to do sincerely;
I don't want to run behind the crazy world
See Devi, when the whole world is busy
Catching prey or making money
I sit lonely and chant Your names
While tears roll down to drench my chest
Bearing sharp pains in my heart;
Am I a fool Devi? As the world says?
For, neither have I seen You
Nor I crossed my body needs
When will a ray of grace from Your compassion
Fall upon me to lift from all pitfalls? 200712