A Breaking Question Poem by Joshua Hillard

How much does it take to break it?
A question I must ask,
Seems pain is inflicted from my past,
Burdened to never have the last laugh,

Seems this question is journeyed so far,
Yet I am stuck with so little,
Trapped between two to lie in the middle,
But the answers unfold to this long term riddle,

Each flash is a remembrance of the guilt,
The sorrow in my life that I have once felt,
Is taking its toll with the cards that are dealt,
So now I lie below loosened by the belt,

It gets colder as the days go by,
In a way I am breaking, yet I don’t know,
How much does it take to let it finally show?
A question I must ask before I blow,

Blow in a way that I am gone,
The trigger in my life waiting to be shot,
The gun in my heart waiting to stop,
The cause of misery to where I drop,

A suicide mission? That’s not what I seek,
I seek of freedom from a world so bad,
So many things restricted from the childhood I had,
Bounded by the chains that left me so mad,

I don’t know what to believe,
Karma has turned and finally found me,
I lay miserable, not seeing what they see,
But I guess...it’s my turn to be the one to bleed,

As I let go, I am inflicted more,
But the hurt is gone, I breathe less and less,
It was in a form, my goal to pass life’s test.
My grade had failed; I am beginning to be laid to rest,

Only one being can take so much,
So what is the limit to this very heart?
Brought in this world, my trial began to start,
18 years of this life, and now it’s all beginning to fall apart,

Time ticks away, yet I am still here,
Locked in one room, no meaning far from being true,
I’m so scared, alone with a heart so blue,
As I lay in bed, wondering what I must do,

How much does it take to break it?
I begin to wonder if I have found it,
Life is slowly fading, heart’s beginning to quit,
My life is breaking, my heart has came first to be hit.