A Broken Vessel. A Broken Heart. Poem by Micah Kistler

Look at me.
I am nothing.
Far from free,
But the freest I have ever been.
I'm glad I've left behind what I knew.
But as far as I know,
As much as I have seen,
What I have known,
Makes me realize this:
I am nothing.
I am worse than I have ever been.
I wish death upon myself.
I wish death upon others.
I am far past broken,
But it's funny how it started with mother.
For mothers are gentle
So I'm told.
But the story is stale,
The story is old.
For mothers are kind
But not mine, love
Not mine..
Worthless she told me.
I am nothing.
Worse off than I'll ever be.
Far from free,
But sadly, the freest I have ever been.
Look at her,
A wonder that is new.
But I left her today.
A regret that still holds true.
Now look at her.
Her hair burning with fire,
But she was someone
Yes, someone I should have never been acquainted by desire.
Now look at her,
A user,
Someone who knew no better
With great intelligence sadly never used.
But her golden hair
To my despair
Shackled my soul to a fetter,
Beaten and abused.
But it was you, love, that I turned to.
You were there for me at my worst
Yet somehow let me become my best.
You've supported my decisions
but you never left me when everyone else left
I am lonesome, but not with you
But you are not mine and this is true.
Ive told you how I have felt.
I have shown you what you've meant to me,
A broken candle to the flame.
Whether you hurt me or hate me
My biggest intentions will be the same.
I promise to never harm you, love
Because that would bring me shame.
I will always vow to protect you no matter what
Because my intentions will be the same.
I am scared for you love
I don't want to see you hurt
For most men have tongues made of silver
That can shatter your vessel in the dirt
I am jealous, love
Because bitterness is a lonely pill.
It is hard to swallow your pride
When you have a vessel which was broken;
A void that was never filled.
People made me bitter, love
I am alive, but to feel like I'm living,
I never will.
I only ask to be careful
Since I am jealous, love.
Bitterness is a lonely pill.