A C T C - 2014/10 - Non-Competing Joke Entry Poem by Brian Johnston
A C T C - 2014/10 - Non-Competing Joke Entry
Bride You, Groom Me?
By James B Johnson
(Monkey Shines on Typewriter)
Monkey dreams, sex, more sex,
Banana nice too,
Once in a while!
Tastes better though
When cute butt peels for me
Too much rain,
Smell like stale carpet
Who will groom me now?
Something big comes,
Sure not stinky me!
Haul my ass up tree!
Dominant males
Chest thumping braggarts
Really stink I think!
Whoo Whoo Whooee!
Cute butt three trees over!
Maybe she wet too
No notice stinky me
Mistake me for brother
Until too late! Whooee!
Oh Wow! (thumping chest!)
Sweet, sweet, sweet, treat!
Was it good for you too cute butt?
Oh yes, right there! ! Hmmmm!
You can groom me anytime!
November 1,2014
Poet's notes:
This poem started out as a joke on my current poetry contest that has the Challenge Title - ‘Words - The Heart of Imagination.' I asked myself if monkeys have no words, but do have imagination like Bri Edwards claims to have (even without words) , and I was translating these mental images in a monkey's brain into English words as a kind of poem, what would it look like?
Bride You, Groom Me also brings to mind the famous line from the first Tarzan movie after Tarzan saves the beautiful blond Jane from certain death and takes her to his home in the trees swinging on vines with Jane over his shoulder..... He says 'Me Tarzan, you Jane! ' Surely the greatest understatement of all time!
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Well Hi Merov, You old snake in the grass! I've been wondering where you were? It must be hard to live with such a profound lack of humor. Did Satan get tired of your company? I know that I've really missed you! So welcome back you devil in the red dress. Oh yes, it has gotten out, everyone knows though that your sex change operation failed and we are all so sorry that you are now doomed to a live without sex of any kind.
As per our usual arrangement I will change your 1.0 to a 10.0 in a way that you cannot change so that everyone knows that you are ineffectual intellectually as well as impotent. Wow, it took you three hours to give my new poem a 1.0 rating. Are you slowing down? Cheery Bye you dastardly amusing fiend!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/18/2024 7:40:32 AM # 1.0.0.1119
you are so eloquent in your chastisement of mr. merov the magnificent. i've already sent you a comment on your cutesy poem. and i know who that monkey REALLY is. like the girl who sat without a dance partner at the college/high school dance, it was YOU! :)