angel of passion 016 (december 16th 1993 / strathroy)
a day i wont forget
this is the day i think were goin steady
i sure hope i am ready
sitting in my bedroom white dress and vale
soon ill be goin down that rail
flowers in my hand
out of the veihcle and on the ground i land
in front of the church i am
tears out my eyes all ram
of happiness they come
im excited some
i walk up those stairs
this man really cares
down the aisle
with a great big smile
the man of my dreams
this walk so long it seems
up on the steps i go
thay werent that low
my man saying his vows
the audience have wows
i then say my vows too
and everything id do
then you say i do
and i say i do too
then you lean me over and kiss me
now together we have a world to see
this was a day i won't forget
and the man i wont regret
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looks pretty good to me........the theme's good..........i guess sunshine is being too harsh...........
i will advice you to check the spellings though..........coz u have quite a few spelling mistakes........and one more and important thing, i think you are forcing your poem to rhyme.....i will give you an example........
''of happiness they come
im excited some'''
here some looks all out of place and seems like u have forced it so as to rhyme with come.........remember poetry is not about rhyme always.........
All in all a good poem.............. ;)
this poem doesn't make sense to me at all