angel of passion 016

Rookie - 20 Points (december 16th 1993 / strathroy)

A Day I Wont Forget - Poem by angel of passion 016

this is the day i think were goin steady
i sure hope i am ready
sitting in my bedroom white dress and vale
soon ill be goin down that rail

flowers in my hand
out of the veihcle and on the ground i land
in front of the church i am
tears out my eyes all ram

of happiness they come
im excited some
i walk up those stairs
this man really cares

down the aisle
with a great big smile
the man of my dreams
this walk so long it seems

up on the steps i go
thay werent that low
my man saying his vows
the audience have wows

i then say my vows too
and everything id do
then you say i do
and i say i do too

then you lean me over and kiss me
now together we have a world to see
this was a day i won't forget
and the man i wont regret

Comments about A Day I Wont Forget by angel of passion 016

  • Rookie - 0 Points Shekhar Joshi (6/20/2009 2:28:00 PM)

    looks pretty good to me........the theme's good..........i guess sunshine is being too harsh...........
    i will advice you to check the spellings though..........coz u have quite a few spelling mistakes........and one more and important thing, i think you are forcing your poem to rhyme.....i will give you an example........

    ''of happiness they come
    im excited some'''

    here some looks all out of place and seems like u have forced it so as to rhyme with come.........remember poetry is not about rhyme always.........

    All in all a good poem.............. ;) (Report) Reply

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  • Rookie Sunset moonshine (1/10/2009 10:16:00 PM)

    this poem doesn't make sense to me at all (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, January 7, 2009

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