Treasure Island

Framarz Bagheri

(1962 / Lahijan-Iran)

A girl called twilight


Your name is melodic

Your kiss is melodic

Your smile is melodic

Your death is melodic

Heaven cries into your eyes

Wide open!

Submitted: Sunday, July 19, 2009
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  • Barbara Terry (7/19/2009 6:51:00 AM)

    Uhm this is an emotional write I will give you that. But it lacks substance and doesn't draw the reader in. I only read this because the title was good, but still, the body of this piece lacks definition and meaning. Readers have to be able to actually 'see' what you are talking about, and this just doesn't do that. Who is twilight? What was she like? Was she a happy person, or a sad person, or a depressed person? How did she die? These questions need to be answered.

    Love & hugs,
    Barbara (Report) Reply

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