A Great And Glorious Adventure Poem by Thomas Vaughan Jones

A Great And Glorious Adventure



Fair sits the wind for France,
said Harry to his band
'Let’s grab a boat, and take a trip,
and pinch some Gallic land.'
They formed a mighty army,
equipped with sword and bow.
Some thought that he was balmy,
but none dared tell him so

He made such rousing speeches,
men cheered from lusty throats,
Then went down to the beaches
and climbed aboard their boats.
They sailed the English Channel,
which didn’t take too long.
The English sharpened weapons
while the Welsh men sang a song.

Some sad and surly Frenchmen
were waiting on the shore.
“What are you doing, Mes amis!
What ‘ave you come ‘ere for? ”
The British groaned when Hal stood up
to tell once more his story.
He rambled on, for hours and hours
about his quest for glory.

(A burly man named Falstaff,
with glazed and vacant eye
Said “When I’m back in Blighty
that Shakespeare’s got to die”.)

The French were quite impassive;
They blew both froid et chaud.
Then Jean le Tet said, loud and clear,
“You’d better hit the road.
You may be here for glory,
but lads, you’ll have to hike
There is no public transport,
La France is out on strike”.

Poor Harry gave an inward groan,
his generals were no fools
But British men would never fight
against the Union Rules.
His eagle eye surveyed the land,
and then he saw a thicket,
His heart leapt high within his throat,
they hadn’t placed a picket.

He shouted from his rostrum,
come brothers one and all.
Though base you are, and base we be
let’s breach this rustic wall.
Thus in the name of glory,
they waged a bloody war.
The Frenchmen cried at Crecy,
and they wept at Agincourt.

Until the lads grew restless,
they tired of Coq au Vin.
The French had this embargo,
and there was no British lamb.
They ventured back to England,
setting a speedy course
Dreaming their dreams of fish and chips,
and lamb chops with mint sauce.

When they got back to Windsor,
they stood and looked askance.
Their wives were making merry
with some gentlemen from France.
While they had been out fighting,
the girls had had a ball,
Indulging Latin Lovers
from the heart of deepest Gaul.

And high up in the ramparts
the Frenchmen cried with glee,
“Vive le France, et Vive le Guerre
et Vive la company ”.
Poor Harry’s heart grew bitter
and his soul was filled with gall.
He knew, once more, he’d have to breach
another bloody wall.

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
A tongue in cheek European History Lesson. A little knowledge of Shakespeare might help.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Thomas Vaughan Jones 14 February 2014

Sorry about that Stephen. It's sort of a mad mix of our 100 Years War, Will's Henry V Part 1 inspired bt French industrial action against British lamb, :)

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Stephen W 14 February 2014

“Vive la France, et vive la guerre et vive la compagnie ”.

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