Valsa George


A Headlong Plunge


Swaddled in frozen silence
In a weather so dolorous and damp
The pores of her mind sweat painful memories
Which take a headlong flight
Faster than the beams of light

At times shaking their fearful manes
As unbridled steeds, they come
Raising dust behind
Making all sanity blurred.
Often they rise from their indulgent stupor
And spill over, submerging all extant thoughts

They never care to stand in queue
Jostling each other with no manners
They bump on one another, breaking all decorum
Like an unruly mob on impatient wait

Caught in the vortex of a whirling current
Her poor body begins to lose its equilibrium
And she plunges into an abysmal pit
To be choked there in whirling gloom!

Submitted: Monday, December 09, 2013
Edited: Monday, December 09, 2013

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  • Silver Star - 8,252 Points Deepak Kumar Pattanayak (7/26/2014 12:16:00 PM)

    A sad reminiscence brought her headlong to the gloom once experienced.......Valsa.......metaphor so finely
    adopted makes the piece vibrant and lively........... (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,262 Points Akhtar Jawad (6/10/2014 6:13:00 AM)

    If someone is asleep or not completely awaken the memories become an in-disciplined crowd. Some times these memories are mixed in the sub-conscious grinder and a very abnormal shake is prepared. Some times it is furious and sometimes it is funny. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 210 Points Marie Shine (12/15/2013 5:14:00 AM)

    The lack of sunshine has a strong effect on human beings and in quite a lot of cases, the gloom can lead to various degrees of depression, depending on the individual involved. Excellently penned poem. Wonderful use of metaphor, simile and alliteration, the poem flows satin smooth. Thank you for sharing, Valsa. Beautiful work! Blessings always... (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,836 Points Geetha Jayakumar (12/12/2013 1:23:00 PM)

    If one falls into the whirlpool of depression, it is really very difficult to come out. One strong support can do much. Unfortunately that support may be responsible for all this. Its not sure where this depression will lead too. Beautiful write Valsa. This poem took me far away.. Loved it. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,369 Points Patricia Grantham (12/12/2013 6:05:00 AM)

    Comparing an apparent bout of depression with other happenings and
    depicts how hurtful this condition can be. It is like a whirlpool that sucks
    us in where one can feel that he or she may never rise out of. One has
    to persevere. A good write this is! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,196 Points Dinesh Nair (12/9/2013 10:37:00 AM)

    It is a pity that she has has fallen headlong into the abysmal pits. But the hope has it that she will bounce back to the surging waves to reach the shores.. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,318 Points Hazel Durham (12/9/2013 9:57:00 AM)

    Depression takes it's own course with uncontrollable thoughts, that bring us on a painful journey without our permission, we duck and dive but allow it to overtake us as we accept it's powerful control.
    Superb write! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,680 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (12/9/2013 9:14:00 AM)

    Memories and thoughts may be uncontrollable at times. This state is described comparing with uncomfortable weather, unruly steeds, whirl of a vortex in beautiful lines. Nice poem. (Report) Reply

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