Kandayia Ali Poems

Our world is slowly being taken away from us through the constant recurrence of natural and national disasters. We run around in circles searching for answers- and we NEVER look to the real master, but the one we put before everything is existence-, only to see the real identity of 'govern-mental' society. Losing our homes, our lives, our loved ones, our faith just to have a piece of something we often times hate- but eat it anyway and it makes our bellies ache and some of us even throw up at the thought. Look at the war we're now fighting and the battles in the past, we've fought. Never really had a reason to be involved but our people are so caught up worser than Usher- not close to opening their eyes to see that WE are killing WE; not one man killing one man, but ALL men killing humanity; strippin us of our real identity a chosen species placed on the pedestal by the Almighty.

Our children cry because they don't understand why we lost our home and the water washed away the land around their swing set. Now, it's covered with mud and the neighbor's dog's blood, and will be fossilized on a memory of how things ‘was'. Not wanting to cry with them, you try to show them another way other than this pain that you see in their eyes today- 'we have each other, we have faith, we have life, we have hope, we have love.' Only if they really knew; that in this world, today- it surely seems like that's not enough! Until my struggle is yours and yours is mine we will never truly see that we're being led blind.
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Narrow were the choices I have been given. They have me driven to make the decisions that I have made in my life. Whether to succeed or fail,
fall under or prevail, they are my choices... No one else hears these silent voices. Silent prayers of the heart, asking for the strength to take part in the activities that make a person an authentic work of art; I'm NOT a carbon copy; something put together so sloppy
that no one wants to be near you.
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I wish to take this time to let you know whats been bothering me, haunting
me, to tell you. I don't know your situation fully, but I can feel what you going through. its like some sort of connection, some vibe we have with each other, which causes me to want to bring it to the table to half way meet each other. No; not like that- as a friend, big sis, with the best interests of her lil' sister or brother. I hate to see you hurt; it makes me want to defend you, I can feel your pain, and I can relate to what you have been through; there has been a lot of things, some
unnecessary, others- meant to be. These things are turning you into the person you are now, the wonderful person I see.
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Every tone, texture, frame, physique; almond shaped, round, exotic, unique; long hair, medium, short, shaved, or even locked. Every box braid, up-do, wrap, curl, or natural hair style ever rocked...

From high cheek bones, wide spread to pointed nose; naturally arched to waxed eyebrows, manicured nails, pedicured toes. Full lips, to thin, injected or reduced; from detailed and intelligent, to petty and obtuse. From A cup to Z cup; sagging' or firm either- single lettered or doubled; to a waistline that you can't find, or one that get's you in trouble. Hips and thighs that stop traffic dead in its tracks; to
the dimpled themed thighs with the excess luggage in the back.
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All the times I thought that I was your 'Queen; ' in the end, all you found yourself calling me was a 'hoe.' All the times I thought you were trying to hold on; you were building up your strength, to let me go. I thought you trusted me, but I only disgusted you. You said that you couldn't live without me, but each day we around each other you prove to me that statement wasn't quite true.

I wanted you, but, to my surprise, you had a different look in your eyes, a different feel in your heart; that you claimed wasn't there from the start. Over the years it turned from suga' to shhh; and all you say to me, is that I caused all of it. See, you loved me cause i thought differently; now, I'm crazy because I think like that. You go out of your way now, to hurt me purposely- because you seriously think, I don't notice how you act. You make everything a challenge; a war- even when we shouldn't even be the ones in combat.
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This time around, I'm longing for things to be different for me; I'm finding it hard to open my eyes wide enough to see, the do's and don'ts of the love game, seems all the same. Together, then apart, then move on, don't know who's really to blame. Why is it that shortly after the night we consummated our relationship, we soon took the final steps before consecrating our relationship?

I have heard it all before, but this time, I want more...
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Tingles up and down my spine- pain unbearable like the needle point pinch of a spinal tap, you tapped into my mind- mentally causing a relapse of time- a halt in space- that sorta' took place...

Unexpectedly-
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