Dear kitten, your name is now Lucy,
You’re named for TV’s comedy queen.
Because you are both so loveable
And the funniest kitten to be seen….
Although my little Lucy
You make me laugh deliriously
Please turn your big ears to my voice
And listen to something to take seriously.
This is your home my little kitty
You now live in a flat in the big city.
Unlike being amongst grass and rocks
When wanting “relief”… just use your box.
I appreciate all your willing attempts
But no matter how you persist.
Even when taking such careful aim
Most of the time, you’ve missed.
There is something I have seen
That's seen on the internet.
That many a capable cat can do
And so can you my clever pet.
How helpful it would be I feel,
As this thought spins in my head.
It would be great for both of us,
If you used the toilet instead.
Any kitten that can climb the drapes
And then stroll along the valance
Can easily perch upon the toilet’s rim
Without fear of losing one’s balance.
That is what I would like you to learn
But there is no need to rush it.
Someday you’ll be a big cat too
And be strong enough to flush it.
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