A Pirate's Tale Poem by Phil Soar

'Avast There', said the pirate
As he spied a welcome sight
An isle on the horizon
Just to the ships right
'Alright me little darlings'
He beckoned to the crew
'Prepare to man the rowing boats
There's much for thee to do'
They tied the sails and anchored
Three hundred yards from shore
And headed for this island
Where no man had stood before
Upon the beach a native stood
A girl of tender years
Her breasts stuck out like rugby balls
And so too did her ears
She motioned to the bushes
Where a tribal party lay
And singing in a shrilling voice
The girl began to say
'Fifteen men on a quiet beach
Are heading forth this way
You wait until they get quite close
And then the old we'll slay
The young we'll use as breeding stock
Until their manhood droops
And then we'll cut them up in bits
And put them in our soups'
The Pirate waited on the ship
Until the darkness came
Then one by one he shouted out
Every Crewmans name
He got a silent answer
And not a sound was heard
Except for a gull that shit on his head
I ask you, How absurd! .